Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

12WBT day seventy one – Hanging in there

Aug 31, 2010 Musings

WOW I can’t believe it’s been a week since I last posted. I keep meaning to post, but this week has been so busy and by the time I sit down to the computer I’m just knackered and the last thing I think about doing is sitting down and writing. To be honest, tonight is a bit like that, but I’m here, and I’m writing.

The last week has been really good. I’ve been eating really well (again, you have to trust me, due to lack of daily stats) and I’ve been exercising too. Still not doing 5 days (let alone 6 days) a week, but I’m getting there. But overall it’s been a really good week.

Last week I happened to wander into town, on a mission to buy myself a new pair of work pants because all of mine are now too big for me (great feeling indeed). I happened to go into a store that sometimes has sales, hoping that I’d find my pants there. Well I didn’t. But I did find a massive everything is $10 sale. Normally I am not a huge fan of shopping because I find it so hard to find clothes to fit me, but I was daring. I grabbed a few pairs of jeans and slacks in size 18 and well, they were too big. So I ended up getting 16s and they FIT!! I grabbed a couple pairs of jeans in 16, a couple really nice cardies, a couple tops and then to top it off even further, I grabbed a couple pair of size 14 jeans (they were only $10 after all) with the intention of fitting them by Xmas. Well one of the pairs actually goes all the way up and are just a smidge off actually doing up. I can’t remember the last time I had size 14 jeans, and it’s such a pleasure having these now, KNOWING that they are going to fit me by Xmas this year.

So then I went to the hairdressers. We have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks and I desperately needed a haircut. So I got it cut and coloured. Now it looks lovely. And all this I have noticed has brought about a real change in me. I realise now that since I broke my wrist and gained weight that I had really let myself go. I lost my care factor of what I looked like, whether I had makeup on or not. I never used to be like that. I used to always wear makeup whenever I went out. I used to dress up – to care what I looked like even though I was overweight, and I had lost that. But I’m happy to say that the old Tina is now coming back. Maybe not to the obsessed state of wearing makeup everywhere, but I’m certainly getting up a little earlier and doing my hair and putting a bit of makeup on before work in the mornings and also taking a bit more pride in my appearance – it helps that I can now fit smaller clothes and can now fit into some of my older clothes. It’s great. And it’s being noticed at work too. A few people have commented that I look nice, and my boss keeps telling me that she can really notice my weight loss now. It’s really a nice feeling :)

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It’s the small things

Aug 13, 2010 Musings

Yes, I know I have been extremely slack in updating the blog lately. I’ve also been pretty slack in keeping my own eating diary up to date, which is pretty bad, because I tend to forget things if they aren’t written down. But I know that I’ve been eating okay, because my diet tends to be pretty much the same I know that I’m doing okay by the loss on the scales. But you know how it goes, life just gets in the way of “stuff”, in this instance, life just got in the way of blogging.

And when I say life, I mean 12WBT has gotten in the way. I mentioned in an earlier post that I joined the gym, and this time (yes, I’ve gone down the gym route before, as readers of my previous blog on here would know) I am determined to do it right and keep it up. And two weeks into my joining the gym, I’m going quite well. I’d love to say that I’m doing fantastically, but I’m not, but that is more due to the fact that I seem to keep coming down with this dreaded lurgy. But I’m going as often as I can and I’m enjoying it and I’m loving doing the weight training again and more importantly I’m still motivated, normally by now the motivation has worn off.

Amongst other things that have gotten in the way of my blogging, is my quilting, which I have gotten right into. I started a quilt for our bed last year (and this is still a work in progress) and then got sidetracked, because cutting out 300 squares of cord was just killer on my wrist. But earlier this year a friend had a baby boy, and as I was organising her baby shower, I thought of doing her something special to mark the baby’s arrival (her first child). So at the baby shower I had all the guests write on small squares of white material, which I then took home and quilted up with some gorgeous blues and voila – one hand made, unique baby quilt. I have to say I fell in love with this quilt while doing it. I was quite sad to give it to her too, because it’s officially the first quilt I have ever made. But really, what am I going to do with a quilt full of messages from people I don’t know? The bonus is she loved it, and I know that he is going to grow up with a blanket that has a lot of meaning to him. (You can see pictures of the quilt here)

So admittedly I just went on a bit of a ramble, because this post is about the small things I’m noticing that make weight loss such a great thing. I think for me, the smallest, but by far the biggest thing is how easy it is for me to hold my partners hand now. Seems strange doesn’t it? But I’ve lost weight in my fingers, so wrapping my fingers into his is not such a struggle anymore, they just fit together nicely and I love it. I’m not in general a touchy feely sort of person, I like my personal space and can’t really remember the last time I hugged family (except my mum) but I always have to hug and kiss and be near my partner. He’s the only one I can stand being around that much. So to be able to hold his hand with ease is such a great feeling.

Another great feeling? Sleeping at night. The more weight I lose (did I mention, 14.3kg gone now, oh yeah!) the easier it is for me to breathe. I can talk for longer periods at a time (okay, maybe not the greatest thing that) without losing my breath, but more importantly, when I lie down, I don’t have all this weight pressing down on my lungs. I still have a lot of weight there, don’t get me wrong, but god I can’t wait until I’m at my goal weight, because then, breathing will just be a breeze. But I find I am getting such a better sleep at night, because I’m just getting so much more air into my lungs.

Lastly, but by no means least. My clothes are getting too big!!! We’re like everybody else in the world at the moment, money is tight, saving for a house deposit, bills come in etc etc and I can’t really afford to be going out buying new clothes (which I haven’t yet, I’m putting that off for a bit longer), but I’m having to get rid of a whole lot of my clothes because they are just too big for me and some of the pants literally fall off me now and I’m happy about it, happy about having to buy new clothes and spend precious money. It says a lot about my fluctuating weight though, that I have so many different sizes of clothes at home, that it’s not necessary for me to rush out to buy clothes that fit, because I’m starting to recycle back into old clothes that I had worn a few years ago. The thing I’m doing different this time though, is that I’m giving away all the clothes that are now too big for me. Previously I would have kept them for “just in case”, which is probably why I never really noticed my weight piling back on, because I would just move to a different end of the wardrobe to find clothes that fit me, it wasn’t necessary for me to have to face facts that my clothes were shrinking, I was putting on weight, because I could still fit the clothes in my wardrobe. I conveniently ignored the fact that the clothes I was wearing were 2 sizes bigger……. But this time, they’re going. There will be no safety net for me to fall back into. And any of the clothes that I particularly love, I’m going cut up and quilt. It will be my weight loss journey quilt (I did say I was getting onto the quilting thing again right lol).

So there’s my ramble today, about some of the small things that make my weight loss great. There are lots more reasons, but for me, these three things really stand out. What makes your weight loss great for you?

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Rain rain go away

Jun 29, 2010 Musings

Well, Mother Nature has put a bit of a dampener on things today and gotten in the way of my plans. Let me just say that I am none too impressed with her form at the moment. It’s pouring down with rain here so I have cancelled my lunch time walk. Now I’m a bit of a loss with what to do with myself. I rely on these walks to get me out of the office and to help me bump up my calories burnt for the day, but I’m just not really keen on walking in the rain, even with an umbrella.

To top that off, one of my wisdom teeth are playing up and I have got almighty pain shooting down the side of my face and throat and neck. I’m a wuss and I just want to go home to bed. This is turning into a not so very good day *sigh*

I need to be more positive

Jun 18, 2010 Musings

So today I went out to get my heart rate monitor (Hello Polar F7, I love you lots already xoxo), and when I was walking out of the office to go and grab it, along with my new set of scales, the girl I share an office with asked where I was going. So I did this stupid little embarrassed shaky half laugh and said “Oh I’m just trying to do a little more exercise, you know, probably won’t do much good, but I’ll give it a go”.

What was I thinking? I am not just doing a little more exercise. I am eating healthy, I am going to be doing a shitload of exercise and I am setting myself up with new eating and exercising programs to follow for the rest of my life to be a healthier, happier version of me. So why did I do that stupid (and really annoying sounding) laugh? Why didn’t I tell her that I was in the process of changing my life around for the better. To get myself healthy, for myself and for my future children and to give them a mother to be proud of.

I’m sure that this doesn’t follow any of Michelle Bridges rules. It is allowing me to set myself up for failure, by telling people I work with that it’s just “a little exercise”, it’s allowing me to fail. So right here, and right now, I am pledging to go in next week and tell everyone that I have signed up, and am going to change my life for the better.

Oh dear, this just doesn’t sound like me. Everyone who knows me, and those that followed my previous blog here, will all remember how pessimistic and unpositive I was. This program is definitely changing my whole head space around, and for so much the better. For the first time, in such a long time, I am really quite happy, and it’s not relying on any form of medication whatsoever. I think my doctor would be proud of me. And I know that everyone at work will be proud of me also when I tell them all about the 12WBT challenge next week.

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The pain of being fat

May 26, 2010 Musings

You know one of the realisations I have come to in regards to being overweight? It’s not so much that your joints hurt a lot, or that it hurts to breathe when you are exercising, because let’s face it, you are the most unfit person in the world – no it’s not any of that. It’s the pain of sitting at work in your chair, and making a tiny move on said chair, and the whole bloody thing squeaks to high heaven. And the lovely skinny girl that sits next to you (who I’m sure can eat a whole block of chocolate without putting on an ounce) could probably jump up on her chair and do a belly dance (if she had a belly that is) and the chair wouldn’t make a sound. Yes my friends, THAT is pain. The emotional pain of being overweight, I’m sure for me, outweighs the actual physical pain that accompanies holding those extra kilos close to my heart.

I long to be that skinny girl. The girl who can jump up on the chair and do a belly dance, who can get through a whole day at work, without being so damn tired she looks like she is about to collapse, the girl who can wear the nice pants and shirt and look the part. So why do I sabotage myself all the time, and how do I stop myself? Hmm questions to ponder.

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