12WBT day thirteen – crap day, very unhappy with myself

Today we had a family day. When I say family day, I mean Mick, myself and Brodie go out and do something. We only get Brodie to stay with us every six months and only for a couple of weeks during school holidays, so the time that we have together is always very special. When I started the 12 Week Body Transformation challenge I didn’t take into account that Brodie would be here only a couple of weeks into the challenge and that it was going to take some serious organising (which I think we all know I’m not the best at). So today we headed out for a day at our favourite small town, and headed up to one of our favourite national park areas where we know we can have an open fire and do some good old fashioned cooking outdoors. Of course on the way there, there is always the obligatory stop at our favourite small town bakery where they do “The Best” pies and pasties.

So what did I do today? I started the day off with a bowl of Rice Bubbles. Something low in calories that would fill the hole in my stomach (I’m still asking myself why did I pick Rice Bubbles of all things?) and then followed that up with a brunch of a homemade Cornish Pasty from the bakery. Then we finally got to our camping/open fire cooking place and I had a little lamb chop (all fat removed) and a bit of steak, all grilled over the open campfire. So much crap today. Finished off nicely with a Margherita Pizza for dinner, which is the only thing I’ve eaten today low in calories.

While I know that I’ve eaten pretty badly, there is a part of me that just wants to buck the system and say “So what”? I still want to be able to enjoy life, and I want to be able to have a bit of a treat every now and then, and I want our time with Brodie to be special and to do fun things together. So if that involves having a bloody pasty, then hell, why shouldn’t I? Do I really want my whole life to be about counting calories? Please don’t get me wrong. I am still 100% committed to doing the 12WBT and following the principles I learn(ed) for the rest of my life, but in amongst that, there has to be a bit of give and take for times when we want to just let loose and live a little. Admittedly I might have to let the living happen in another ten weeks or so, but I think then, maybe one day every now and then is surely not going to kill me right?

So without further ado and more complaining, daily stats for the day (beware they’re pretty poor):

FoodCalories in
B1 cup Rice Bubbles and 1/2 cup milk170
S1 Cornish pasty500
L30g Lamb and 130g Beef – grilled296
DMargherita pizza with mushrooms350
Total1316

ExerciseCalories out

No exercise today0
BMR1837
Total1837
Calories surplus/defecit-521

12WBT day seven – Feeling great

Woohoo I am officially into Week 2 of the 12WBT challenge and I feel absolutely great today. I had so much more energy and the hunger thing is starting to wane a little and I’m just feeling all round positive. A new and exciting feeling for me being all positive, it’s just great, I could get used to it.

Had lunch with a great friend today, who is also taking part in the 12WBT and it was great to sit down, and have a chat with her, face to face, rather than just over forums. I love love the forums, but it’s also nice to have a real person to speak to about the problems we are facing, and the successes we have had.

I have also realised that my fitness has increased in this one week. While it was easy for me to burn up 300 calories at lunch time at the beginning of last week, I have found over the last few days I really have to start working for those calories burnt now. Zumba had me sweating into my eyes and really working it, but it was still not a huge calorie loss, but hey, I’m fine with that because I know that my heart is improving and my fitness and my life expectancy with it. So all good. Anyway quite tired tonight and I do believe it’s nearly bed time so stats for the day here we go:

FoodCalories in
BPorridge with 2t brown sugar, 1/2 cup milk & small apple284
S1 Berry cheesecake Forme satisfy yoghurt90
LBeef & Sweet Potato wrap246
SPunnet of strawberries, 1 Skinny Latte123
DTuna pasta, with mustard and rocket274
Total1017

ExerciseCalories out

Lunchtime walk – 18:30 – Avg HR 130, Max HR 141155
Zumba 20 minute express – Avg HR 149, Max HR 159213
BMR1863
Total2231
Calories surplus/defecit-1214

12WBT day four – Feeling flat

Well I think there have been plusses and minuses for today.

The plus being that I didn’t feel quite as hungry today. In fact I actually coped quite well with the amount of food, so hopefully my stomach is starting to get used to the smaller sizes.

The minus of today would be that I did no exercise. I went to bed early last night (finally) and got a great nights sleep, but I just felt blah and run down all day. I would like to say that I’m following all of the rules and reading my list of excuses and their solutions, but I didn’t today. I felt like crap, so I sat out in the sun and read during my lunch break instead of going on a walk. Yes, I feel a bit guilty about it, but I don’t feel too guilty, because I finally did something that wasn’t obsessing about my weight. I needed that ME time again, as I feel as if I am just losing myself and becoming a psycho obsessed dieting drama queen. I miss me, the fun person, who would sit and eat a piece of cake with her friend if she needed to talk. I think during these 12 weeks I’m also going to have to learn how to juggle the two people I seem to be becoming.

Well enough introspective thoughts for the night – it’s Friday and it’s time to sit back, chill and watch a movie with my man (who I really miss just sitting with and chatting about things other than calories…..) So stats for the day:

FoodCalories in
BPorridge with 2t brown sugar, 1/2 cup milk & medium pear308
S1 Passionfruit Forme satisfy yoghurt94
LPumpkin soup227
S1 medium mandarine & 100g strawberries50
DNat’s Lasagna – modified slightly (more veggies)325
Total1004

ExerciseCalories out

No exercise today0
BMR1863
Total1863
Calories surplus/defecit-859

I really am my own worst enemy

So the second task that we have to do for the 12 week challenge is to sit down and really think about the excuses we make to not exercise, to not eat right. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I thought physio was hard, but this, no this was harder. I have really stuck with the exercising excuses. I am going to do my list of excuses about eating too, but I think that could be an even longer list. The thing that I have realised though is that I don’t let others influence me in the bad things so much as I influence myself. I AM THE ONE TO BLAME. There is no one else I can blame. I have to take (and now do take) responsibility for my own actions. My family and friends love me, and want the best for me. So when I tell them that I WANT to shove that hamburger into my mouth, they let me, because I keep telling them, and myself that it’s what I want. So with no further ado here is my list:

Internal excuses

1. I’m not motivated enough
2. I’m scared of failing
3. I don’t want Mick to laugh at me
4. I’m lazy
4. I don’t have the energy
6. I’m really really scared of falling and breaking another bone, or hurting my wrist again
7. I just don’t want to
8. I’ve already stuffed up today, what’s the point of continuing

Solutions
1. I’m never motivated to do anything, except sit on the couch and mooch. But things still get done, because they have to. Exercise is just another of these things – it HAS to be done, so MAKE the time to do it. Every day. And stop whining.

2. By not even trying, I can’t fail, but neither can I succeed. I want to succeed more than I want to fail, I hate failure. So at the very least, TRY to do exercise, even a half an hour a day is better than nothing at all.

3. Mick loves me and wants the best for me. He has never laughed at me, and he won’t do that knowing how important this is. And if he does – so what – I can just put laxatives in his dinner and laugh at him running to the toilet all night (okay maybe I wouldn’t do that). Remember that Mick has been there through the really bad times, never cracking jokes – it’s not his style.

4. Yes you are lazy and it is time that you changed this habit. Think of all the things you miss out on and because you can’t be arsed getting off the couch. Do you really want to look back in 20 years and regret the life you have lived – or rather – half lived? Just think with the exercise you will have more energy and won’t be so lazy.

5. You don’t have energy because you aren’t currently exercising and are carrying around an extra 40 kilos (you can’t even lift 40 kilos for godsake). Imagine how much more energy you will have with regular exercise. Now get out there and go go go.

6. ? I don’t know how to get over the fear of breaking my bones again.

7. What do you mean you don’t want to? Do you want to be fat and unfit forever? Decide what it is you really want (and you know what that is) and get up off your butt and do some exercise.

8. Okay, so you’ve made it through the day, and you haven’t exercised. You’ve gone back on your ways, and used one of your many (so many I never knew I had that many) excuses. If the day isn’t over, then stop thinking of ways to NOT exercise, and put that time to good use and do some exercise. If you’ve managed to avoid your exercise to the point of bed time, then you get your arse up a half hour earlier tomorrow and GO GO GO. This goes for your food intake too. If you’ve stuffed up, then you start straight away again and don’t continue on in your bad ways for the rest of the day.

External excuses I can do something about
1. It’s raining outside/too cold outside/the weather in general outside sucks
2. I’m too tired
3. My leg, ankle, knee *insert body part here* hurts
4. Nicole isn’t exercising tonight, so I have no one to exercise with
5. I have to cook dinner for Mick

Solutions
1. Okay, so the weather outside sucks? I bet inside it’s wonderful. So I can turn on that dvd player and exercise my heart out. Or I can put on the WII and exercise on that to my hearts content. Make a use of all those dvds and games that you have spent good money on.

2. Go to bed earlier instead of staying up late watching t.v. You know you will only complain the next day anyway when you stay up late, so go to bed early, get a good night’s rest and get out there tomorrow and go go go.

3. Barring another broken bone there is nothing to stop me from exercising. If I have injured myself, then I need to adjust my exercise to accommodate my injury. But just because my knees because I’m exercising is not a reason to stop – it’s a reason to go on. Because losing my excess weight will only help it.

4. Just because Nic can’t make it, doesn’t mean you can’t exercise by yourself. You don’t need Nic to hold your hand for exercise, you can do it all by yourself. Remember that your situation and Nic’s are different, you don’t have two small babies to run around after, you only have yourself to run around after. So RUN.

5. Mick can cook too! It won’t hurt him to cook every now and then so you can exercise. He might actually enjoy being let into the kitchen. If he doesn’t want to cook, then cook extra on the weekend and freeze it, for quick meals to prepare – AFTER YOU FINISH EXERCISING.

External excuses out of my control
1. I have to work late
2. I’m sick

Solutions
1. If you have to work late, then make sure you have an early night so that you can get up a bit earlier the next day and do exercise. Most importantly of all, don’t use this as an excuse that doesn’t have a solution.

2. Okay if you’re sick, you genuinely can’t overdo it without making yourself sicker. So look after yourself, make sure you take your vitamins and eat good healthy food until you are well again. And then get back into it.