A loss… and a win (or two)

Tuesdays are supposed to be my super smash it day, the theory being that I get up first thing in the morning and go for a swim, do my 40 laps and then have a nice relaxing spa for ten minutes before heading home to start the day, whereupon I finish work and head back to the pool to do an aquaerobics class. That’s the theory anyway. The reality was that I spent way too long watching tv last night and ended up turning my alarm off this morning and sleeping. It was bad and it was the wrong thing to do, but I know my body well enough by now to know that if I had gotten up, by 2pm today I’d have been a walking zombie (note to self, get some more iron tablets from the chemist…) So I felt quite guilty this morning when I finally got up and Mick asked me what happened to my early morning session. I think the look I gave him was enough for him to know that this was NOT a conversation to have with me first thing without any coffee (bless him, he really is so patient and tolerant with me). So that was my loss.

But – and yes, there’s a but – I had a win. Actually I had two wins. One a physical win, and two more mental.

First off, I did actually make it to aquaerobics tonight. Got home from work and put up our new Christmas tree (not a lot involved really, it’s just a wooden one, that really doesn’t require decorations – I’m going for minimalistic this year) and pottered around and contemplated – I hate to admit it, I really did contemplate it – calling my mate and telling her that I couldn’t make it to aquaerobics. But that’s giving in and I can’t continue to do that or I’m never going to get where I want to go (and I’m still trying to decide exactly where I want to go) so I struggled through the laziness and went off to do the class. And I’m so glad that I did. It was just fantastic. I could really feel it in my core and I think I’m going to continue to feel it tomorrow. I feel so refreshed and pumped now, that I’m really sad that I didn’t go swimming this morning. But it’s okay, there’s always tomorrow and every day after that.

Second little win was a thought that I had on the way home from work. Normally, when I get home from work, I scoff down food. Sometimes it’s healthy, most times it’s not. I have no idea why I thought of it as I was driving home, but I suddenly realised that A) I only eat when I get home because it’s habit, not because I’m actually hungry and B) I haven’t done that since I started 12WBT and OMG I’m still alive and haven’t starved to death… Hmmmm. So that just made me happy, because I realise that I can come home and just do things, without having to shove food in my face and that habits can be broken. Not that I think this habit is broken yet, but it’s a work in progress.

Third little win, was again a mental thing, and actually happened last night. I was watching TV last night (the reason that I was up so late and missed swimming this morning, so maybe this isn’t a win after all…. Might call it a draw) in particular the documentary “Fat, sick and nearly dead”, about Joe Cross who started drinking fresh juice every day for two months. Not just drinking a little juice, but only juice. He stopped eating and just drank. He convinced another few people to do the same and the whole time I was watching it, I was thinking “Wow, what an easy way to lose weight” (okay, now that I’m not half asleep, rationally, I know that wouldn’t be easy, would require a lot of willpower – we know I don’t have much of that, read above to see my exercising willpower *sigh*) at the time, I really thought that would be great. I watched him lose so much weight in two months and kept thinking to myself. Two months, that’s eight weeks, that’s two weeks less than the end time of this round of 12WBT. I could totally almost get to my goal weight in that time just by drinking juice! I almost convinced myself that I should do it. But then I mentally slapped myself. What the hell was I thinking? Why would anyone in their right mind (and I’m really sorry if you’re a fan of Joe Cross – if you are, maybe stop reading now…) why would anyone who is mildly sane, willingly cut out every other food group except for fruit and veggies to lose weight? That’s all he was doing to start with, drinking juice. Not exercising, not actually cooking food up, cutting it up, chewing it and swallowing it. Just drinking. WHY? Personally, I think he took the cheat’s, easy way out (and again, I know it wouldn’t be easy…) And that’s where I’m counting my last win. For brief moments, I seriously considered cutting out my eating and just drinking juice for a couple months. But I’m so glad to say that I thought better of it. I love that on this program I don’t have to give up any food group. That I can learn about healthy eating, that I can still enjoy the occasional piece of chocolate if I so wish to. That I am learning about exercising and creating a healthy balanced life. So to Michelle Bridges, I say Thank you. Thank you for not getting me to only drink juice (and it really was vile looking juice too!)

Now here’s hoping that tomorrow morning I get my lazy butt out of bed at 6am and do some exercise.

Kitchen window quilt

Finally I have managed to spend a crapload of time working on some of my quilting projects that I’ve had on the go for a while now. I admit that I pretty much put everything else on the backburner to get this quilt finished, but I just couldn’t stand seeing it lying around any longer. I got some design work knocked off yesterday, so today I was determined to concentrate on getting the binding sewn on. That was all it needed to be finished off. But hand sewing for me, is one very long tedious and slow task. Not to mention painful. I sat down, put on the Time Travellers Wife and was still sewing it on when the movie finished. By this time, my wrist was crying out in pain but I was so close to it being finished, that I kept going. I know that I’m going to pay for that tomorrow. But take a look at the quilty goodness that I now have – for me, that’s going to make the pain worthwhile…

The front of the "KItchen window" quilt
The back of the "Kitchen window" quilt
The needle is now blunt after I stabbed it into my fingers only about - oh 500 times or so.

So I admit (for 12WBT followers) I ignored all exercise this weekend. I ate well (except for dinner last night, but shhhh….) but I did nothing else except work and quilt. And I have to admit, I feel better for it. I feel re-energised and re-focused on getting back into the swing of things tomorrow morning with a shuffle and getting back on the JFDI thought process.

Now, to work out which quilt I’m going to finish next. The “New Beginnings” challenge quilt (which I need to post to USA on 12th March), the “Rain or Shine” quilt, the “Blissful baby” quilt or the scrappy quilt for our bed. Hmm I suppose seeing as how I have to send the new beginnings quilt in about 2 weeks time, I should probably get started on (and finish) that one.

So excuse me now. I’m off to turn the air conditioner down to about 15 so I can go and snuggle under my quilt. Just cos I can.

I’m back baby… Running that is

Today’s daily food intake…

Okay, maybe not running, but I’m back to my shuffling. So WooHoo and yay me!

Admittedly it took me two days more than I was saying it would. I swore I was going to get back out there on Friday and do it, but woke up so sore that I just couldn’t physically do it, and then I just lost my nerve. I know it sounds stupid for me to be scared to go for a shuffle/jog after only a little tumble, and it’s really hard to put into words the stupid irrational fears I have in my head. But I’ll try.

Three and a bit years ago I left my house in the morning to go to work. It was my fifth day at a brand new job, a job which I loved and was so excited to be going to. I stepped out on the path and there was broken concrete under my foot, which I hadn’t really noticed before. Hadn’t noticed until it came out from under my feet and I fell down. Hard. I smashed my wrist up, both bones, right up near the top where I couldn’t just have it wrapped in a cast. No, I had to do it hard and ended up with a plate in my wrist.

Broken Wrist

Side view of plate

Front view of plate

That alone was enough to scare the beejeezus out of me. I was too scared to walk alone anywhere because I didn’t want to fall over again. I went from being a girl who would wear heels everywhere, dancing for hours in stilettos, to someone who was too scared to walk with even flat shoes on, like I had on when I actually fell – that’s the weird part, I was wearing damned flat shoes when it happened. That broken wrist was just the start of the crappiness that followed though. I ended up with full blown pneumonia a week and a bit later – a result of the surgery on my wrist, and then it was almost a weekly trip back to the doctors having blood tests and ultrasounds to find out what was going on with my body after that – think liver and kidney problems. Then started the therapy to get movement back in my wrist – almost (actually sometimes moreso) as painful as breaking the wrist. Finally two months later I got back to that job I loved, but by then just getting to and from work was a struggle in itself.

But the worst, was the constant feeling of sadness and despair that came with all of this. Took me a while to really talk to the doctor about it, but eventually I was diagnosed with full blown depression – something I’d been fighting for years, but never done anything about because of the shame that I associated with it. But when I went to the doctor one day and just couldn’t actually get any words out because of the tears that were choking up my throat. I couldn’t explain what was wrong with me. I didn’t know why I wanted to cry all the time, why getting out of bed every day was a struggle. How just looking at the scar that I now had on my wrist could leave me sitting in a pile of mush for days and make me want to vomit. That was probably the best doctor visit I ever made, because to be honest, I don’t know where I’d be today if I hadn’t gone to the docs.

This is just a quick overview of the crap that happened all at the same time. I know it wasn’t all caused by the broken wrist, but every time I think of falling, I just associate it with bad things. Very bad things. It’s stupid. It’s irrational. But it’s just something that’s so hard to get over. I’m trying and the fact that I actually got back out there today and did a jog (a slow and careful jog, with Mick right by my side the whole time – even though he caved earlier than I did…) shows that I’ve come a long way, because three years ago I would have gone back inside, shut the door and not gone back outside for a week – and that’s after sitting down and bawling for a few hours. One day, I’ll be able to get back up after falling, brush it aside and just keep going. But until then I’ll just take it one day at a time and keep trying.

But the positive thing to take away from this (very maudlin – I’m sorry, it wasn’t where I was going with this post, it just kinda came out) is that…

I jogged again today.

Yeah baby, I’m back!

Must not turn alarm off

Todays daily food intake…

Argh where are my list of excuses in the morning when I set my alarm to go off at 6.30am so that I can get up and do some exercise? And why doesn’t my brain function properly at that time so that I can say “Get up Tina, get up, don’t sleep in”? Because that’s exactly what happened this morning. All my good intentions of getting up and doing exercise this morning, as well as tonight went way out the window. I didn’t even think about it, I heard the phone go off, I reached over and with my eyes closed somehow managed to turn the freakin thing off. Then slept.

Did I make that time up tonight when I went to the pool to do my swimming? Nope. I only did a piddly 35 minutes and just couldn’t do anymore. Felt like I was going to drown tonight I don’t know what was wrong with me. But I feel so zonked.

The bright note of the day was that I got my new work shirts today. I’d ordered them a few weeks ago, and when I ordered them I got two size 18’s and in a moment of optimism I thought considering that I am doing 12WBT I’m going to order two more, but in a size 16. Well they all got in today and I’m happy to say that the size 18’s fit quite nicely, and the size 16’s, while they are snug, are going to fit beautifully in a couple (maybe a few) weeks. Which means that the original size 20’s that I have, and also my 18’s are going to be too big. Hmm might have to pull the sewing machine out for something other than quilting soon.

Sunburnt and sore

Today’s daily food intake…

Just a quick post tonight, we haven’t been home for long and I’m absolutely knackered. Had a very busy Australia Day today. Went to the national park and climbed Stamford Hill (will post pics tomorrow) and then went around to a really nice secluded beach while we were in the national park and went snorkelling, which was a first for me. I spent so long swimming against the current, that I’m sure I burnt a lot of calories, but I have no idea. Funnily climbing the hill and going back down I only burnt 397 calories in total. But it’s all good, I was hiking, the heart rate was going and it was just stunning from the top.

But now, I’m tired and need to go and take some panadol and rub myself with cooling gel to get rid of the sunburn that I also managed to get myself today. Sigh.

Fitness is that you?

Today’s daily food intake…

I got up this morning after my disastrous attempts yesterday to do my C25K run at the bright and early time of 6.30am. I did briefly consider ignoring the alarm and sleeping for another hour, but two things spurred me on:

  1. 1) I really didn’t want to have to say that I failed again, and
  2. 2) Mick said to me last night before we went to sleep that he doubted I would get up when my alarm went off and that I would sleep in and not do my morning shuffle (I can’t call it a run or a jog, because all I do is shuffle – in a jog like kind of way).

So with those two things spurring me on, I got up, got dressed, got my phone hooked up – RunKeeper on, music ready and C25K app open and ready. And off I went.

I happen to live in a very gorgeously beautiful town and right next to the ocean, so my track took me along the ocean edge on a walking trail. It was all good up to the point that the trail stopped. Because when the trail stopped, I was faced with beach – sand, lots of sand. I can’t run well at the best of times, trying to run on sand was hell. But I did it and when I got to the end and looked back over where I had come it was so beautiful that I stopped to take a photo.

Now here’s a hint for everyone out there. If you use the C25K app on a HTC Desire and press stop, then go into your camera to take a photo, you may find yourself having to start all over again. Because that’s where I found myself. When I’d finished taking my photos I went to restart C25K, only to find that it had shut down and when I re-opened, it faced me with the start screen!!! No!!! I could not believe that had happened to me. (But on the plus side, take a look at the gorgeous views I had while doing my shuffle…)

It was at that point I could have screamed (if it wasn’t for all the campervans in the area I was standing in, I was a little afraid of the people I’d wake up), so I stomped off, full of huff and fury, leaving the C25K off and trudged home.

So now I have to restart the program from the beginning, but I think I may give it another few weeks before I try again. Between Zumba last night and the shuffle this morning my knees were very tight and swollen feeling today and I think I may have overdone it just a tad. But it’s nothing that a fantastic swim this afternoon didn’t fix up.

Now, speaking of swimming. I started doing laps at the local pool about three weeks ago – going twice a week and swimming, in the beginning, for an hour – doing 40 laps, which equals 1km. And three weeks ago, it took me 58 minutes to do those 40 laps and each lap was a struggle. I couldn’t even do a whole lap of breaststroke, I had to do a bit of a paddle in between. It’s amazing how far I have come in just three weeks.

Tonight I powered through my first 14 laps in just under 15 minutes and pretty much the whole time I was doing breaststroke (well, my version of it anyway – I’m planning on taking adult lessons to learn the proper technique). It was hard and I was damn puffed, but I was amazed at just how quick I did those laps tonight and how many of them were pure breaststroke. It seems that I may just be increasing in my fitness after all. It’s very exciting and it’s definitely keeping me going.

My aim now is to see how many laps I can swim in 60 minutes, rather than how long it takes me to swim 40 laps.

What is wrong with Port Lincoln?

Today’s daily food intake…

Easy answer – there are too many bloody hills! Yes people that’s right. If you come to Port Lincoln, then be prepared for some serious exercise. Today was what is known in the 12WBT universe as Super Saturday Session (or SSS), where you really try and smash out the exercise and burn some serious calories. I knew a couple of days ago that we were going to go for a ride (I’d even managed to get Mick to miss Cricket to do this with me, a bloody amazing feat even if I say so myself) and I’d let Mick decide where we were going to go. I was thinking that maybe doing about 10km would be good. I’d be happy with that.

Nope. 16.91km thank you very much. Mick decided that we would ride along the Parnkalla Trail (or some of it as it’s about 14km in length from one end to the other (28km there and back – HELLO!). Little did I know just how hilly and steep some of the points were. And to say that I’m not the most confident rider is an understatement (read that as – big ‘ole fat coward!), there were times when I was truly crapping myself. Or I would have been if my butt muscles hadn’t been so sore from the bike.

Would I say that riding a bike is my favourite form of exercise? No. But it certainly does help that kilometres add up. I burn more calories riding a bike than I do swimming, but it’s a lot more uncomfortable and hot than swimming. So with each form of exercise, you have to take the good with the bad. On the one hand with swimming, I might not get the best cardio workout (I just can’t seem to push myself in the pool because I get so out of breath and just can’t seem to get my breath back), but I do get some great resistance happening, which I’m sure is helping my muscles along. Plus, in the pool it’s pretty hard to get too hot and sweaty, which I love. But then with cycling I get the great cardio happening and find that I push myself that little bit harder, but I’m not so great with hills and find that I can’t make it up them and have to walk – which is still exercise I suppose. All in all, I’d have to say that both forms of exercise will definitely be staying in my diary, and I think I might mix it up with a little walking and some Zumba. Tonight’s mission is to sit down and diarise my work-out plan for the next couple of weeks.

So all in all, today was a great day. Good, healthy food choices, and lots of exercise. The ride took us 2 hours and 9 minutes, smashed out 16.91km and burnt a fantastic 1265 calories. I’m proud of myself. But please excuse me now, while I go and die *sigh*

Just another day

Today’s daily food intake…

I wish I could say that I had exciting adventures today, but really, it was just another day. Nothing exciting, nothing hugely mind blowing – Just. Another. Day.

Which is probably a good thing. There were no struggles with food intake, I didn’t even struggle with getting myself to the pool to do some exercise. This is starting to scare me – three days in a row of exercise, which is probably a bloody record for me, I’ve never been that regular with my exercising.

I did do the right thing though, instead of driving to the pool to do my laps, (like I did last time and have done many times – not to go swimming, just to go to the pub next door lol) I walked there. Having just moved to the neighbourhood (hell having just moved to the town in general) I still get myself a bit misplaced. I knew it was close, but I had no idea how easy it was to walk to from our place. Just down the road, over a bridge and voila I’m there, whereas if I drove it’s allllll the way around the block and takes me almost as long to drive there as it did to walk (which by the way took about 3:45 or ONE WHOLE SONG!). So to cut that long winded story short, I walked to the pool and then home again, after doing my laps of course. 1km of laps done, so including my walk (and the extra 400mtrs from yesterday’s ride), that’s a total of 2km’s I can shave off my “like” challenge.

I’m getting excited for next Wednesday now. Surely with eating right and exercising like I am I should lose some weight? So excuse me now, I’m off to watch Ghost. Ahh the wonderful Patrick Swayze.

6.5km’s down, lots more to go

Today’s daily food intake…

Well after a very un-eventful afternoon, Mick, Snotface and myself decided to go for a bit of a ride this afternoon. I have to say, that Mick is the most supportive person I have ever known. He quietly let’s me go about and do what I do. If I put weight on, he doesn’t say anything, when I complain about gaining weight, he quietly listens. But when I want to exercise (like going for a bike ride, or a walk etc) and I don’t want to go by myself, he’s right there next to me, making sure that my tyres are pumped up nicely, and that I have enough water in my water bottle, and then planning a route for us to take. I’d truly be lost without him.

But seriously, that wasn’t the point of this post. The point is, we went for a bike ride this evening when Mick got home from work. 51 minutes of hellish torture. I used to be good at this bike riding lark. But it’s been so long since I’ve done it, and I’m so seriously unfit that I just wanted it to end. But yay I managed to last our entire trip. I was hoping for an hour, but the route didn’t take us quite that long so we were home in under an hour. But I still managed to burn 519 calories.

Quick question for anyone out there willing to answer though. I had my iPod with me, with RunKeeper going and the GPS was (supposedly) on, though it wouldn’t calculate our distance at all. Does anyone know how to fix this issue? I really don’t want to have to come home all the time and plot my maps on RunKeeper when I can load it up automatically. That takes valuable blogging time away from me – hence the very weak and boring post tonight, I’m knackered.

Update on kilometre challenge: up to 66 likes, and the post is still open for likes for about another 14 hours. Holy hell I’m going to be busy. (And with tonight’s bike ride I only have 61km left to fulfill.)

The hike of my life

Okay so enough of my whingeing about the hike on Sunday (though really, I have so much more whingeing left in me – honest). It really was overall just a beautiful weekend. We left early on Saturday morning and took a nice leisurely drive down through Victor Harbour, ending up in Deep Creek Conservation park about 3ish. We had a bit of a drive around looking at the different camp sites and some of the different views – Blowhole beach was just beautiful, especially in the hot weather we were having. The campsites were all very much on the main strip so to speak, nothing that was really off the beaten path, like we would normally have gone to, but as we were camping with some people from Mick’s work, we had to take them into account, and they really wanted something that had a toilet. We don’t normally camp where they have toilets available, because that means there will be people there, and we like the seclusion that comes with camping.

Blowhole beach

Standing by Blowhole beach

Had a really nice, relaxing afternoon on Saturday, just lazing around and talking and drinking (the wine came out for me, and it wasn’t long before I was getting tipsy – stopped at that point). I’m not at all a night owl anymore, even though evening is my favourite time of the day, but by 10 o’clock I was ready for sleeping. I managed to hold out till about 11pm, but then I crashed it.

Got to have a really nice sleep in on Sunday, then we got up and bummed around for a while. The people who were with us decided to go for a walk pretty early on, but we decided to pack up first, knowing that we would have to leave pretty much as soon as we got back from the walk. God do I wish that we hadn’t done that walk now.

We chose a “moderate” walk. One that was only supposed to have a few steep inclines, but one that could be completed by pretty much anyone. Note it was moderate and not a “hard” walk! We set out on the 6.4km return trip to Deep Creek Cove.

The sign lied!

The first half hour of the walk wasn’t too bad. Of course, that might be because the first half hour of the walk was pretty much even ground, not a lot of rocks, and although it was heading down the hill (cliff really….) it was a moderate climb down, and not hugely noticeable. Then we hit the rocks. Then the steep inclines. I don’t know how many times I stumbled over those rocks and put out my hand to steady myself only to nearly fall because I don’t have the strength in my wrist to hold me up. I believe at that point I said to Mick that I wanted to turn around and go back to camp, but he convinced me to persevere. (In hindsight, I’m glad I did, but I’d have been just as happy to turn back – honest).

The view from the top of Deep Creek Cove

Don't leave me

It looks fairly flat - IT'S NOT!

Looking out over the other cliffs and ocean

We finally got out at the cove and it was gorgeous. It was a tiny little inlet, where the freshwater meets the seawater, and I’d have been quite content to stay there for the rest of the day. But no, we had to get back.

Deep Creek Cove, still getting there

Deep Creek Cove

Tina loves Mick

Sweet moment

This is where the pain sets in. I should also point out that we didn’t bring our sunscreen with, and it was a 35degree day. Sun was belting down when we set back to the top, and I could feel myself burning with every step I took. But it was trying to get back up those steep inclines we had come down that really did me in. Managed to pull my groin muscle and was trying to limp up the steps, when all I could feel was my heart thumping and thumping, not just in my chest, but all over. It was like my body was one huge pulse. Not good, I swear I almost had a heart attack. But we finally reached the beginning and it was there that I just sat down and wouldn’t move until I’d drunk about 2 litres of water.

Part of what we came down

Got to go back up that!

By yesterday, the pain had completely set in and walking wasn’t much of an option for me. Muscles have pulled up a little better today, but the sunburn has really set in now, and is starting to blister. I’m not a pretty picture at the moment. The scary thing is: there is a really stupid part of me that would like to do that hike (I refuse to call it a walk, it wasn’t a walk) again. But in cooler weather next time, and with a lot more water along with me. Course, stand me at the top of that cliff and ask me, I might change my mind.