So I think I mentioned that I joined up for Round 1 of the 12 Week Body Transformation program right? Well as per last years round, there have been pre-season tasks which have to be completed, and these are the same as last year’s too. (I’m hoping that there are a few changes for this year, otherwise why am I paying for this again?) Anyway, I realised that last year I never posted my list of excuses for not eating the right food or not exercising and how we are going to combat these excuses and grind them into the dust. Well bring on Round 1 for this year and I’m back at the excuses tab again (only a couple of weeks late….) and I have finally done my list. Though I have answered my excuses almost as I would a friend, so if you read it and think why is it all in third person – that’s why. So without further ado, here is my list of excuses in relation to food and exercise, and why I’m not eating correctly or *ahem* exercising (yeah, I’m still slack on that front).
Internal, that I can do something about.
I can eat this because it’s only small.
Well sure, you can eat it, but do you really want to? First off, it might be small, but it’s probably full of fat and sugar, so it’s going to hit you where it hurts the most. But, if you’ve worked out how many calories are in it, and it will fit in with your daily allowance then sure have it, but make sure you work it off.
I’ve exercised so I can treat myself.
WHY WHY WHY do you even think of doing this? What is it with your weird arsed way of thinking. You’ve just spent a minimum of an hour at the gym, working your arse off and sweating (and you know how much you hate to sweat) so why would you even contemplate eating something crap now and waste all the hard work and did I mention the sweat? If you know you’re going to be hungry after the gym (and you always are, let’s face it), then bring some fruit with you to eat afterwards. Just make it a healthy snack for gods sake.
I’ve been good all week, so I should be able to treat myself.
You’ve been bad all your life with the food you eat, so eating healthy for one week makes you think you can treat yourself? Nah uh, I don’t bloody well think so. The only treats you’re going to have are good, wholesome, healthy ones. Perhaps, occasionally, after maybe 4 weeks or so I might let you have a little bit of chocolate. BUT that will be on a Super Smashit Saturday, after you have exercised like a mad woman and after you have also allocated it into your daily calories. You will not go beyond the 1200 calories a day limit do you understand me?
I don’t want to be the odd one out.
Meh, what else can I say but MEH. You’re standing there all fat and you think you’re not the odd one out? Dumbarse, just say no to the unhealthy food and munch on that tasty carrot stick instead.
Why shouldn’t I?
Ummm excuse me? Why should you? If you are really wondering why you shouldn’t, then maybe you should go into the bathroom, jump on those scales and get your answer staring you in the face. Come on girl. You’re so overweight but remember, you want to have children some day and be a good role model to your kids. That alone should be reason enough to JUST NOT EAT CRAP!
External that I can control.
I’m at this party/gathering, so I shouldn’t be rude if someone offers me something.
The truth is, you don’t go out much and when you do, it’s always to friends places for parties etc. They all know what you’re doing, so I don’t think anyone is going to mind too much or even be offended if you pass on that piece of cake or the Mars Bar slice. Suck it up princess and Just. Say. No.
Internal – I can do something about.
I’m not feeling motivated.
La la la, I can’t hear you…. If you waited until you were motivated to do anything, you’d never get anything done. I know that you struggled with exercise in Round 2, but you need to pull your finger out and JFDI. Just like you do with cooking dinner and cleaning the bathrooms (ugh) and really, exercise is sooooooo much more preferable to cleaning the bathrooms at home right!
I’m just too tired.
Blah, go to bed earlier. This is a no brainer. Stop staying up late watching TV and go to bed at a decent time and you won’t be so tired. Oh and get yourself some more iron tablets for gods sake, you know you need them.
I have so much other stuff to do, I just can’t fit it in.
Well not really, the other things you have to do are all personal choices that you’re making. Personal projects that don’t have to be completed by a certain time. So you can do them anytime you want. Putting off exercise to do quilting is a pretty damn stupid thing to do.
Yes, yes you certainly are. And the fact that you’re about 40kg overweight kinda proves that honey. Sooooooo I think it’s time you stopped using the fact that you’re lazy as an excuse and just do your exercise. You never know, you might actually enjoy it someday and find that you’re just not lazy anymore.
I don’t have the energy.
Well no of course you don’t. That’s probably because YOU’RE OVERWEIGHT!!! Either that or you’ve gone to bed late again. Either way, it’s a pretty lousy excuse. Because, and here’s the kicker Tina, you know that going to the gym actually GIVES you energy. You know that. So stop using that as an excuse and get your big arsed butt back into that gym and make it a small arsed butt…
I just can’t be bothered.
You can’t be bothered going to work most days either, but you still do it. Why? Because you know that you have to. The gym is no different. You have to go there, or you won’t get fit, you won’t lose weight. It’s going to be harder to fall pregnant, it’s going to be harder to run around after a small child and it’s going to be a LOT harder to be a good role model to your child if you can’t even keep up with him/her. JFDI. I have no more to say on the matter.
External – I can do something about.
It’s raining outside/too cold/too hot/bad weather in general
Well………. If it’s raining outside, that means it’s dry inside right. And inside the house you have a Wii fit, and many exercise DVDs that you can do instead. Or even this idea – get your umbrella out of the car and you wont get wet going from the car to the gym entrance. Easy fixed. Too hot outside you say? Hmmm the gym is really nicely air conditioned and so is the house – also an easy fix. Too cold outside? Gym is always warmer inside in winter than outside, and at home, you have the heater. Again – another easy fix.
Some part of my body hurts.
Yeah, suck it up and get over it. No more to say.
I have to cook dinner.
Is this because you were unorganised again? You know that if you spend a couple of hours in the kitchen on the weekend you can get dinners and lunches ready for most of the week. So why didn’t you? Come on, dinner doesn’t take that long to cook. Put a steak on, do some exercising and then do a bit more when you run from the lounge to the kitchen to flip steak over and then run back to continue exercise in lounge room.
My wrist is playing up.
Okay, valid reason this one. But! Just because your wrist is playing up, doesn’t mean that your legs are playing up. So get on the bike and pedal, pedal, pedal.
External – beyond my control.
I have to work late unexpectedly.
Damn work gets in the way of everything good doesn’t it? Well when you get home, do the Zumba express DVD. It’s only 20 minutes, but it’s better than nothing. Go on…
Yeah that blows. Rest up, get some chicken soup into you, make sure you keep eating healthy and when you’re recovered get straight back into your training.
By far the most damaging of my excuses is not even an excuse. It’s the complete ignoring of everything. Where I just shut my brain down and don’t even think of an excuse for putting a piece of cake into my mouth, or for driving straight past the street that leads to the gym. It’s like my brain just goes completely blank at those times. That I’m finding is the hardest thing to fight off, because I rationalise it later by saying to myself that at least I didn’t make an excuse. I’m getting better at making myself face the cold hard truth, but every now and then I drive home from work and find myself at home, having missed the gym etc without even thinking about it. Dangerous ground that is.