Tag Archive: Weight Loss

Chicken schnitzel

Today’s daily food intake…

Weigh in day

Previous weight: 106.9kg.
Today’s weight: 104.6kg.
2.3kg loss

YAY, great weigh in today made me very happy that finally my weight had stabilised and all that extra weight I put on last week came off, plus a wee little bit more 🙂 I was concerned after weighing in on Saturday and being up to 107.3kg that I’d done something wrong, but it seems all is good.

Having said that, tomorrow I am going to have to do some extra training that’s for sure. We went to the pub for dinner tonight and I had a chicken schnitzel. Oh god, it was fantastic! I enjoyed every single mouthful. Won’t be doing that again in a hurry I can assure you. But on the other hand, a nice meal out occasionally is going to happen, I’m not a hermit. So I’ll enjoy it when I do it, and work a bit harder the next day to make up for it.

Started with a loss, ended with an aha moment

Today’s daily food intake…

Weigh in day
Previous weight: 111.1kg.
Today’s weight: 109.1kg.
2.0kg loss

I’ve learned a few of things today.

The first is that even though you might be hungry at breakfast time, don’t go overboard. Perhaps the cheese and Vegemite and butter was overdoing it. A little.

The second is that I need to learn to eat slower. I noticed while I was eating my lunch that I was eating as if there were a hundred hungry people behind me just waiting for me to put my fork down so they could grab it out of my hands and finish my lunch off. I don’t know why I eat so fast, but if I ate slower, I think I may actually eat less, because I’d give my body a chance to actually realise it’s full, before it gets over-full.

The third is that I can’t rely on Softball training on Wednesday afternoons to give me any kind of a work-out. Especially when only four people turn up and you don’t actually get to train. There is another day of exercise wasted – v. unimpressed about this too. I was planning on giving myself one day of rest over the weekend, but now I will have to make up the time that I missed out on today.

Last, but not least. When we go out for dinner I need to make smarter choices. Either that, or not go to pubs for dinner.

Tomorrow is going to be a very clean eating day for me I think. Might try and stay off the carbs (after breakfast, I need my carbs at breakfast), and stick to some lean protein and veg. Lot less calories tomorrow is a must.

Oh and one more thing that I just thought of – just because it’s weigh day and I lost weight, does not mean I should reward myself with food. (Let’s revisit that cheese and Vegemite thing…)

Yesterday bad – today better

Yesterday wasn’t one of my best days. To an outsider it would have been like any normal day – I looked the same, I acted the same, hell I even smelt the same. But on the inside I was just a jumble.

I’ve been working on rebuilding one of our websites at work and it’s been going good, but yesterday it seemed like it was one hurdle after another with this stupid site. In particular yesterday, I was working on the menu structure and a search function and for the life of me, I couldn’t get either of them working. What is normally something so simple for me turned into what felt like a complete waste of a day’s work. It was just doing my head in. Combine that with some extreme tiredness and it just put me right on edge all day. By lunch time I had finally gotten my menu sorted and working, but the search function – well that’s still an issue today, but today it doesn’t seem like the end of the world. To top it off, I got called into a meeting – that was already half finished – and told that I was being given extra duties – completely different to my current job role. Duties, I’m not so sure I want, because it means being taken away from the web and design end on a more regular basis, leaving me only a little time to get all of that seen to (the part of my job I really love). At the moment, being new and on probation until February, I’m only employed on a casual basis, and now I’m not sure what I want. I have conundrums. And I don’t do well with conundrums.

Then, to really make the day complete and utter crap, I was hungry. Not just “hmm I feel like a nibble” kind of hungry, but that “if I don’t eat now, I’m going to murder someone” hungry. That kind of hungry that just comes from deep down within. Which is stupid, because I’d eaten well the day before, I’d had normal breakfast and was filling myself up with water. I’m going to put it down to me being stressed at work. When I’m stressed, I usually eat. Except now that I’m really trying to count my calories and take a bit more notice of the food I put in my mouth, I can’t just eat whatever is in sight (which isn’t actually very much, because I don’t keep food at work – just in case). I still managed to keep to my 1200 calorie intake, but God it was hard. I just didn’t need things to be hard yesterday.

Last, but by no means least, I feel like I wasted my exercise opportunities yesterday. I walked to the pool after work to have my first buddy exercise time with Miss A and it was just great to catch up with her again, and have someone to physically “talk” to about 12WBT and how I was feeling – not that talking to everyone on here isn’t great, but you know, sometimes it’s nice to have that face to face contact thing happening – that when we were at the pool, there wasn’t a whole lot of swimming actually going on. I think all up I managed to do about 300 metres, which is crap, when you think about the fact that I normally do 1km when I’m there. So on the one hand it was great to catch up, but on the other hand I did crap exercise. But we have plans to do the swimming thing on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so tomorrow I’m just going to DO IT! There will be no chatting – well okay, lots of chatting before and after – but maximum exercise. I have to do this otherwise where am I going to be when 12WBT is over? With another wasted couple hundred dollars and weighing even more?

So that folks, is why I didn’t post last night. I knew what I wanted to say, but I just didn’t know how to put it all into words and there was that overwhelming tiredness that was creeping up on me. An early night, and back at work and suddenly things are looking better and brighter again. Today I can look at my work and realise that while my search function might not be working right now, if I leave it for a while and stop obsessing over it I will sort it out. I might not want the extra duties, but it’s a new challenge for me, and if I don’t like it, I can always look for another job. The hunger? Well that’s still here, but it’s not going to make me fall into a dribbling mess today.

And woohoo – weigh day today and I am happy to report that all my good eating and (excessive for me) exercise has paid off in the form of a 2kg loss. That certainly made the day a little brighter.


This That quilt

Well I have officially named the quilt that I am working on now. Introducing the DisDat quilt – because it’s a little bit of This and a little bit of That. I’m still working on getting all the block patterns drawn up – I’ve been quite slack lately, just chilling and trying to get back into going to the gym, and weirdly having a bit of a spring clean at home. I’ve been obsessing more about my cleaning lately than ever before. Ack!!!

In between drawing up all the patterns I’ve been making selected ones out of some nice material I found at Spotlight, and left over white cotton from Tomahawks quilt. I’ve no idea what I’m going to do with all these blocks when they’re finished, but I’m supposing I will put them all together and quilt it up, otherwise, I’m going to have 30 blocks doing nothing. So I suppose I should really look for some co-ordinating fabrics so I can make all these blocks; I’ve made 5 of them up so far, only 25 more to make to ensure I’m working my measurements out correctly.

Block one

Block seven

Block fifteen

Block eighteen

Block thirty

And on super fantastic news. Today was weigh in day and I lost 1.5kg, so I’m pretty much back to the weight I was at the wedding. Should have been about 5kg less, but at least I’m losing weight again, rather than watching the numbers on the scales go up again. Now I just need to really push myself to get back to the gym on a regular basis. But YAY ME, weight loss again.

Adieu 12wbt, it was fun while it lasted

So long since I’ve posted and so much has been going on.

The most significant thing that has happened is that Round 2 of 12WBT has officially ended. My goal going into the 12wbt was to lose 10kg and get down to 100kg even. Well I am very proud to say that I did it!!! And beat my goal by a whole 200gm. Officially over the course of the program I lost 10.7kg which equates to 9.7% of my body weight, which is a fair effort. I suppose in the back of my mind I know that I could have done better, had I been more diligent with my exercise, but for me, just sticking to the 12 weeks was a feat in itself. So I am very proud of what I have accomplished. I dropped down to a size 16 in most clothes and have organised to get rid of all my old big clothes.

The thing that really inspired me to join up the 12wbt in the first place was for a wedding that we had to attend. A wedding where my partner was best man, and where I would meet a lot of his friends for the first time. Mick used to live in a small town, about 6 1/2 hours from Adelaide, where we are now, and as you can imagine, everyone knows everyone there. Including Mick’s ex-wife. So for me, this wedding was more than just a wedding, it was an occasion where I would be meeting a lot of Mick’s good friends for the first time, friends who know his ex, and yes, I wanted to make the best impression of myself that I could (and I think I did that. I’m quite happy with how I looked at the wedding, and that in itself is a big deal for me). I felt that at the size I was, it just wasn’t going to happen, so this bit of vanity is what spurred me on in the first place. Vanity is a bad thing, but in this instance, it got me going and gave me the best version of myself that I could be at the wedding. And you know what, it was a great wedding. Even better, I now know that even if I had gone to the wedding at the size I had been, it still would have been great, and everyone would have accepted me just the way I was and been as lovely as they were. I still don’t regret doing 12wbt though.

Mick and I at the wedding

Mick and I at the wedding

Mick and I pulling a face

Mick and I pulling a face

I caught the bouquet!

I caught the bouquet and don't think I don't mention it to Mick every chance I get.

So now that Round 2 has ended, I’m going to be unofficially doing Round 3. Because I joined up at the gym, I can’t really afford to do another round, so I have decided to put to good use all the information I got through Round 2 and also through the Michelle Bridges CrunchTime book. I was supposed to start today, but at the moment I’m fighting a chest infection and bronchitis, so I’m giving myself a bit of a break for a week and will officially start next Monday. This doesn’t mean that I intend to eat crap, just that I’m not going to stress myself out about it. Weigh days will still be on a Wednesday and I will still put diet info up on here. But now it’s time to start expanding the blog a little.

So, in other news. I am very soon to become an auntie again. My little sister is about to have her first baby, and as I mentioned earlier I have been making her a quilt for the baby. Because I’ve been off work all week sick, I’ve actually had a chance to work on the quilt and it is nearing completion. So tomorrow I will get my photos off the digital camera and put up a little bit of a blog about the quilt. Till then, adieu to you and you and you and also adieu to 12wbt round 2 and let round 3 begin!

12WBT days forty three & forty four – Nothing new to report

Well as the title suggests there is nothing new to report. I’ve been a bit slack on the upkeep of my food journal, but rest assured I have been making good food choices, with nothing bad thrown in the way. In fact Nat’s lasagna has been a real hit at home and we have it at least once a week now, and I’m making up an extra dish of it this weekend so that I can freeze it for ease when I have nights at the gym.

Speaking of the gym. I went in last night for my official induction and to get my personal weights plan worked out – don’t get me wrong, I love that we get it supplied with the 12WBT program, but I’m looking for something specifically for me. I have my own problem areas that I want to target, so I feel that this is the best way for me to go. I got set up with all the weights I’m going to be doing, we went through them all to work out what each individual machine should be set to, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that I haven’t lost all my strength – lower body strength anyway. My weights were only a little lower than when I was previously going to the gym, so I’m pretty sure that in no time I will be surpassing my old weights. I’m so enthusiastic to get back into it again, I realised last night just how much I missed working out with weights. I was never much into the cardio side of things – always pretty much detested the treadmill, still don’t like it much, but I always loved jumping on and doing some weight work. So I’m pretty enthused about heading back to the gym tonight. I just wish my wrist would allow me to do a bit more of the upper body weights to really target my flabby yucky tuckshop arms. But I’ll work on that, and do the weights that I can for now.

So tonight, I promise I will put up my daily stats. Oh and yesterday was weigh in. I lost 900gm which I’m happy with. It’s not the bigger numbers I was getting when I first started, but I was pretty slack last week and only exercised twice, so I can’t be too surprised at smaller numbers. 900gm is still impressive for me. All up, 13.3kg lost now, so I’m pretty chuffed with myself.

12WBT day thirty – Back into food swing

So today was weigh day. I actually managed to lose 600gm this week, which was a complete and utter surprise to me and I have to say I was pretty thrilled that I lost that, as I was pretty sure that I was going to gain. However, I’m certainly not going to let myself slip up quite like I did last week, it really was a disaster. No more take away food, no more nights with meals unplanned. Now I really need to work on ramping up the exercise and I will be completely back on track. The exercise however, might be waiting a couple of days until I get better, but tomorrow, some light exercise should find its way into my day I believe. So how did everyone else go on weigh day today? But for me, it’s adios (time for some Big Bang Theory I think) so here are my daily stats:

FoodCalories in
B2 crumpets with 2 slices crafty light and tasty302
LChicken and corn soup316
S500gm fresh pineapple215
DFish with salad and Forme satisfy vanilla yoghurt300

ExerciseCalories out

No exercise0
Calories surplus/defecit-678

12WBT days nineteen to twenty four – Hard times

Well how is everyone, I feel as if a part of my life has been missing over the last few days without my daily blogging and my daily intakes being written down. I’ve been off having a lovely time camping and spending time with my family during the school holidays. I would like to say that I have been eating fantastically and exercising like a mad woman, because for once I have so much time. But alas, neither of those things is true. I had everything planned out really well for camping, took my food with me, but unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to eat my own food. We went to stay with my in-laws who are living in their caravan while waiting for their house to be built, and I just assumed that they would have their microwave set up and that I would be able to reheat all my lovely “here’s one I prepared earlier food”, but nope, it wasn’t to be. So while I had fairly good choices for breakfast and lunch, my dinners were whatever anyone else had. Which, unfortunately, consisted of a lot of fried food. I was pretty upset with myself. So you would think I’d have been making some better choices now that we are back home, but I haven’t been making fantastic choices. I need to get myself organised again, before I stuff up all the good work that I have done so far. But I have to admit, that this week, I’m losing my motivation. I don’t want to stop the program, I don’t want to stop the change to my life, but this week is really testing me I have to admit 🙁

So weigh day was yesterday. I lost 1.3kg which I was extremely chuffed about. I haven’t done my measurements yet, I will be doing them tomorrow or Saturday, and as soon as I have done them, I will put them up here for the world to see. I also plan on getting back to my daily blog with my daily stats. As of tomorrow!!! It’s so great to be back, so how did you all do?

Happy weigh day

Booyah!!! Okay I woke up in a good mood this morning even after having a crappy sleep last night, and got back on those scales full of pessimism (because that’s what I do, I always think the glass is half empty, never half full), stood there naked, on the scales in front of the mirror thinking *YUCK* and looked down. Woohoo 1.5kg gone. So I’ve gone from being in a good mood to a fantastic mood. I’ve hit the 10kg weight loss mark and I’m super thrilled, I can’t wait to lose the next 10kg and that starts right now. Thank you Michelle Bridges for giving me the tools and knowledge on how to lose these 10kg and thank you to Nicole for training with me and helping to keep me motivated, Kathy to being very motivational and helping to keep the spirits up and reading my gazillion emails every day complaining about how I don’t want to exercise. Most importantly thank you to Mick for being the most supportive partner and eating (nearly) everything I serve him from the menu without question – though he flatly refused to eat the chickpea rissoles lol. Thanks also to Belinda and to the people in the 12WBT forums. Geez it sounds like a bloody award acceptance speech, but you know what, I don’t care, cos it feels like I have won an award right now. I could almost do a 10kg lighter dance woot woot……..

12WBT day nine – Weigh in!!

Well today was weigh in day. I was ultra nervous because even though on a mental level I know that I have eaten well all week and that I have exercised (not as much as I should have, I KNOW that) there is still the horrible fear in the back of the mind that says “what if”. What if I didn’t eat well enough, what if I didn’t count my calories correctly, what if I just didn’t exercise enough, what if, what if, what if? So I jumped on the scales this morning full of trepidation, closed my eyes and realised that I just couldn’t stand there wondering, I had to look. I opened up my eyes and was so damn happy when I saw that I had lost 1.4kg. I suppose that there in the back of my head was the hope that I had lost a lot more, but I am happy with that loss, I think it’s a realistic loss that I can keep up for a while. I’ve never been that keen on the way that shows like The Biggest Loser have people dropping drastic amounts of weight in such a short time. The way I see it is, it took me a long time to put this weight on, it’s going to take me a while to shift it. Plus there is that horrible thought about saggy skin, and if losing weight a bit slower, means that my skin gets a chance to catch up and shrink then that’s all good too.

So how did everyone else do on weigh day?

And now for my stats of the day:

FoodCalories in
B2 Wholemeal muffins with 2t WW margarine & 2t Vegemite344
S1 small apple68
LThai beef salad310
S1 berry cheesecake Forme satisfy yoghurt90
DMeg’s Mediterranean Chicken & 1/2 Cup rice371

ExerciseCalories out

23:17 lunchtime walk. Avg HR 135 (73%), Max HR 146 (78%)210
46:13 Zumba Cardio Party. Avg HR 135 (73%), Max HR 153 (82%)419
Calories surplus/defecit-1283

12WBT – day three

Today was a day of mixed highs and lows for me. Overall I’m very very disappointed with myself. I’m proud of my weight loss and proud of the fact that I did the walk to our meeting with a lot more ease than I did last time. But I’m really disappointed with myself for having even half the muffin – I should have stuck to my guns and eaten my mandarine. I’m also really disappointed by the fact that I only did a half hearted workout tonight. I didn’t go for my walk at lunch, I sat down and did some reading, which, while it was lovely to do, meant that I missed out on 30 minutes of exercise. Then by the time I got home tonight, I really just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. I know this is my own fault for staying up late watching the Grey’s Anatomy finale (but OMG how good was it), but because I was so tired, I just didn’t put the same effort into exercise that I know I should have. This just disappoints me. I think though that I am learning, and I’m also being a lot more honest than I normally would have been. I would have previously, just said that I did my workout and left it at that. At least now I am being more accountable, to myself and to anyone who reads this blog, which I think is an important step for me to move forward in my weight loss. So here we are with todays (dismal) stats:

FoodCalories in
BPorridge with 2t brown sugar, 1/2 cup milk & small pear291
S1 SPC Pears in lime jelly89
LPumpkin soup227
S1/2 blueberry muffin, 1 cup green tea, 1t sugar165
DAsian chicken soup340


ExerciseCalories out
27 minutes of Biggest Loser DVD225
Calories surplus/defecit-976

I think I may just be getting fitter!

Okay so major revelation for me this morning. When I started my current job 8 weeks ago, we had to go to a meeting. Considering everyone here is younger and a LOT fitter than I am (they’re quite the sporty types), they all walk to the meeting, rather than cabbing it. Which is a good thing, considering that at my last place of employment, the cab charges were handed out like party favours – and believe me I made use of that. So when we did that walk 8 weeks ago – not a long walk, probably only about 10 minutes or so – by the end, I felt like I was dying. I was hot, sweaty, uncomfortable and just plain miserable, wondering why I had joined a team of healthy, sporty people that I was nothing like. Today however, different story. I am very proud to say, that I made that walk with ease. In fact walking quicker than half of the team members and arrived at the meeting fresh as a daisy and ready to do the walk back. I know it’s only a short walk, and a small step, but my god I was proud of myself. I can only imagine how I’m going to be in 12 weeks. I’m so excited.

Proud moment number two – I did my 12WBT weigh in this morning and since my last weigh in (on Saturday, my ritual weigh in day with Nicole) I have lost 1.2kg. I’m a little unconvinced about this – I do believe it’s fluid loss and possibly not all fat, but hey, I’m going to take that loss, and look forward to my next official weigh in on Wednesday 30 June. Unfortunately this means that I’m not going to be able to do my weigh in days with Nicole anymore, as I refuse to start obsessing quite that much over my weight that I weigh twice a week. So my little weight chart on the sidebar here, is now going to have a couple of close dates, but by next week it will be all right again.

Negative moment of the day – Having done so well yesterday of avoiding the temptation of fresh scones, with jam and cream, which our team members bought in, I did cave today, when another team member bought in muffins for some celebration. I do believe I have used up all my snack allowances on that half a muffin I ate. However, I have to say, it really was quite lovely and I savoured every single bite of it. I will make sure though, that next time, I stick an apple in my mouth so that I can’t be tempted to do the muffin thing again. Really quite scared to look at the calorie count of that ½ muffin too. Oh dear.

Holiday habits I need to kick

Last weekend was a long weekend for us in Adelaide, and for us that means we tend to go away. In fact over long weekends we tend to take the 6 1/2 hour drive and head over to Port Lincoln. It is the most beautiful spot in Australia, and I would move there in a second. But I digress. When we go to Port Lincoln, we stay with some friends of Micks, and often it involves a fair bit of eating, and even more drinking, of which I am always happy to partake.

So this long weekend was no different. We packed up the car early on Saturday, headed over to Nic’s place and I did weigh in (YAY me, I lost 1/2kg – could have been more, but I did no, [absolutely none] exercise over the week, so I’m taking my 500gm and running) and then we were off.

First mistake? I broke the cardinal rule – I didn’t have breakfast before we left. So when Mick suggested we get McDonalds for breakfast, did I complain? Well no, because by that time I was starving and would have eaten a horse if he’d put it in front of me. So I’m sitting there in the car, munching on my Bacon and Egg McMuffin and hash brown (and god was it good), drinking down my Iced Coffee and thinking to myself. Okay bad start – but I can come back from this. Did I? No.

Lunch time was a Whopper from Hungry Jacks. Dinner (we had reached our destination by then) was a super delicious full fat Spaghetti Bolognaise. And let me just say that topping the night off with one and a bit bottles of red wine, certainly didn’t help. In my defence, I did stop at 2 glasses and then somehow the glass kept getting refilled and certainly not by me. I put all this down to being in Lincoln, it was the first night and tomorrow and the rest of the weekend would be better.

It didn’t. What followed was a super high calorie weekend. No more alcohol, good thing, but, such bad food. And even knowing how bad all of the bacon and eggs and chips and roast pork were for me, I just couldn’t seem to stop the food going from my fingers to my mouth. I dread getting back on the scales now, because I have this horrible fear that I have undone all the good that I have done over the past few weeks.

So the lesson I have learned is:

  • Prepare some healthy snacks the night before we go on a road trip – celery sticks, carrot sticks, a few nuts etc – so that I’m not tempted to reach for the lollies.
  • Make sure that I eat breakfast before we go on our road trip next time. Don’t be conned into going down the McDonalds route.
  • Eat a healthy lunch. There are always other options other than Hungry Jacks. (Which by the way, I have made a personal pact with Mick, that I won’t touch any junk food, especially Hungry Jacks for the next 6 months).
  • When we get to our destination, do a bit of a food shop to help out with us staying, and buy healthy food and fruit and veggies. Explain to our hosts that I am eating healthy and changing my lifestyle to be healthier.
  • Limit my portions when dinner is served up. Eat more of the vegetables, and less of the meat and bad stuff.

So overall, this was not a good weekend, but on the plus side, I have learned some very valuable lessons that I can put into practice next time we go away – in July *sigh*

My commitment

Task 5 of the 12WBT challenge is to publicly declare our commitment to the program. To publicly declare our intention to adhere to the goals we have set. Did I mention publicly? This is a big thing for me, because I have always kept dieting and exercise pretty close to my chest, and not made a big deal about it. I think it was my safety net, because then if (no, not if – when) I failed I wouldn’t have to face the sad looks, the pitying looks, the accusing looks and words of everyone. And this time has been no different. I feel comfortable writing my commitment in the forums, I feel comfortable writing it here, my blog is still a pretty anonymous outlet for me, but to put it up somewhere like Facebook, well that’s a whole different issue for me. But one of my commitments is to put it onto Facebook – which I’m still working up to I admit. So to everyone out there, I give to you – My Commitment:

I make a commitment to myself, Michelle Bridges, my wonderful partner, family, friends and everyone involved in 12WBT that:

  • I WILL lose 10kg over the 12WBT challenge
  • I WILL follow Michelle’s plans – she knows her stuff or else why would I be here?
  • I WILL get fitter and exercise at least 5 times a week (hey I’m realistic, I want to say 6, but I’m exercising maybe 1 or 2 times a week at the moment, so 5 is a big leap for me)
  • I WILL NOT get halfway through the challenge and lose focus and “get bored” and quit
  • I WILL stay happy, positive and motivated
  • I WILL talk to my friends and support group if I feel I am losing it
  • I WILL bite the bullet and put this up on Facebook, even though I have kept the 12WBT challenge quiet on there.

I make this commitment to everyone and will put my 120% in to get me to my goals. I (virtually) shake on this.

Task #3 – My Goals for the next 12 months

I’ve been a bit slack in keeping this blog updated, what with the forums, the twitter conversations and actually trying to fit exercise in around all that, I’m finding that I need an extra few hours in every single day. It’s not a good thing. Anyway, I put up my goals for the next 12 months – both for weight and fitness – and how I’m going to achieve those goals. The version I am posting here is slightly edited from the original I posted, but that is due to Task #4, which has since been released (and which I have not yet sat down to do). So without further ado, my goals for the next 12 months.

1 Month Goals

One month goal – End date 20 June 2010
Weight: To have lost 3.9kg and gotten myself down to an even 110kg.
Fitness: To be exercising a minimum of 4 times per week. 3 times in joint sessions with Nicole and at least one session alone. Each session to be a minimum of 30mins.

How I Will Get There
Weight: By cleaning out my pantry and throwing out the bad food. Following recipes in my Biggest Loser cookbook and keeping a food diary so that I can monitor the food I am eating.
Fitness: By organising my day and sticking to my schedule. Making sure that I go to bed at an early hour so that I have energy the next day so that I don’t use the no energy excuse.

3 Month Goals

Weight: To have lost 10kg more (a total weight loss of 13.9kg) and gotten to 100kg even.
Fitness: To be exercising a minimum of 5 6 (apparently they are the rules, according to Michelle Bridges 12WBT program) times per week. 3 times still in joint sessions with Nicole. Exercise sessions will be a minimum of 45mins, heading up to 1 hour sessions.

How I Will Get There
Weight: By following the 12WBT program and sticking to my healthy eating that I set up in the first month.
Fitness: By following the schedule that I set up in the first month, and modifying it to accommodate the extra time spent exercising. By this time I will have increased energy from the exercise I have been doing, so there will be no using the excuse of I have no energy or motivation.

Reward: At the end of the 3 months, when I HAVE lost 10kg I will book myself into a day spa for the first time ever.

6 Month Goals

Weight: To have lost a further 10kg, bringing me down to a weight of 90kg.
Fitness: To be exercising a minimum of 6 times per week for at least 1 hour per session. I will still continue to exercise with Nicole 3 times per week.

How I Will Get There
Weight: By following the guidelines I have learnt in the 12WBT and continuing on with my healthy eating and diary keeping.
Fitness: By following my now successful scheduling of my life, ensuring that I don’t skip sessions and fall into bad habits.

Reward: A weekend away with my wonderful partner who has supported me this whole time. (However, it being Christmas time, this might have to be put off until the new year).

12 Month Goals

Weight: To have lost a total of 44kg (this equates to 3.6kg per month over 12 months) and be at my goal weight of 70kg.
Fitness: To be continuing on in my exercise plan of 6 times per week for 1 hour sessions.

How I Will Get There

Weight: By following the previous 6 months of healthy eating, with all the good plans I have put in place. At this point, I will re-evaluate my goal weight, and determine if I should be losing an extra 5kg, going down to 65kg.
Fitness: By following the previous 6 months of exercising, and knowing I can do it, not backing out of it and slipping into bad practices.

Reward: Buying a gorgeously sexy black dress and going out for a special (healthy) dinner and proposing to my partner. Or maybe a holiday overseas, with the black dress packed 🙂

I want to extend my goal planning for a further 12 months:

24 Month Goals

Weight: To have maintained my goal weight, within 3kg for the last 12 months.
Fitness: Exercising 6 times a week for an hour each session.

How I Will Get There
Weight: By continuing to keep a food diary and monitor the food I eat.
Fitness: By following the exercise schedule I put in place 18months ago.

So, what do you think of my goals. And what are your goals going to be?

This is who I am

As I said in my first post I have always been fat. I could say I have always been overweight, but the truth is, I have always been fat. I find fat such an ugly word, but it’s the truth of the matter. As far back as I can remember I have always had issues with my weight. I come from a Scandinavian family and have grown up eating lots of potatoes, lots of pork and beef and lots and lots of gravy. Oh let me not forget the fresh bread rolls on weekends, and the lashings of Danish butter that was put onto those rolls. Oh yes, breakfast, lunch and dinner at our house were always a treat.

Now all that food wouldn’t have been quite so bad as it was, had I exercised. But I didn’t. I come from a pretty religious family (I’m not really religious anymore, being forced to go to church as a child put me off for life) – to the point where competition sports were banned or at the very least heavily frowned upon. So there was little to no exercise happening for me to burn off all those calories. Now I realise that this all sounds like a lot of excuses, but if it’s in the past does it still count as excuses? Or has it now become a reality?

So as I got older I gradually let the weight creep on. It was always in the back of my mind, every time I had to buy a new pair of pants, because the last pair I bought didn’t fit anymore. But always it was the same thing, I’ll start a diet on Monday. So I did. Always started a half arsed diet on Monday, which was more like a starvation diet. So by Monday afternoon I’d have completely given in to the lure of food again and be pigging out on chips and crap. And the attitude I was taking was “well I’ve stuffed up this week, I’ll start again next week”, and the next week was exactly the same as the one before it. At no point did I actually stop and consider what I was doing to myself, or that maybe I should get a little more active and do some exercise. Nope, it was magically going to fall off me, this extra weight.

About 3 years ago now, I finally decided to turn a new leaf and do it properly. So I joined a gym for the first time in my life, which was quite possibly the scariest moment of my life. I joined a Fernwood, I wasn’t ready to face a gym with a lot of men watching the fat bounce around while I exercised. I got myself a personal trainer and joined their eating program. I had real success and lost nearly 10kg. I was so proud of myself, the hard work was worth it. You’d think that would have kept me motivated, and that I would have kept going and lost more. But no, I slowly started drifting back into my old ways – partying, partying and a little more partying. What I didn’t know at the time, but possibly should have realised, was that I wasn’t dealing with some pretty big issues in my life. Issues that go back to childhood. I needed to fix my head, before I could fix the rest of me.

Then came 18 months ago. Leaving home in the morning I tripped over some loose concrete and broke my wrist. Pretty badly smashed it up, plates and pins holding it together. Here came more bad eating, and absolutely no exercise, and a lot of weight gain. I have the greatest partner in the world, who stood by me through all of this, never once mentioning the fact that I was getting unhealthier and unhealthier. Breaking my wrist really is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but in some ways, it was also the best. It brought me to the lowest point I have ever been in my life, to the point where I had to get professional help. But I did, and it’s helped. Very slowly. I still have issues with my wrist – it doesn’t move properly anymore, and I have very little strength in it, but I now realise that there are other things I can do to exercise that doesn’t include using my wrist. My main thing to get over now is the fear that I have, deep down, that I’m going to do something to break it again. (Apparently I might still need a little more professional help).

So now I have joined Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation program. Already I am noticing differences in my attitude. Yes I have a long way to go, and yes I know that this isn’t going to be an easy time, and I’m going to have to work hard – really hard – but I’m here for the long haul. And I’m going to share every single painful moment with you all.

I really am my own worst enemy

So the second task that we have to do for the 12 week challenge is to sit down and really think about the excuses we make to not exercise, to not eat right. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I thought physio was hard, but this, no this was harder. I have really stuck with the exercising excuses. I am going to do my list of excuses about eating too, but I think that could be an even longer list. The thing that I have realised though is that I don’t let others influence me in the bad things so much as I influence myself. I AM THE ONE TO BLAME. There is no one else I can blame. I have to take (and now do take) responsibility for my own actions. My family and friends love me, and want the best for me. So when I tell them that I WANT to shove that hamburger into my mouth, they let me, because I keep telling them, and myself that it’s what I want. So with no further ado here is my list:

Internal excuses

1. I’m not motivated enough
2. I’m scared of failing
3. I don’t want Mick to laugh at me
4. I’m lazy
4. I don’t have the energy
6. I’m really really scared of falling and breaking another bone, or hurting my wrist again
7. I just don’t want to
8. I’ve already stuffed up today, what’s the point of continuing

1. I’m never motivated to do anything, except sit on the couch and mooch. But things still get done, because they have to. Exercise is just another of these things – it HAS to be done, so MAKE the time to do it. Every day. And stop whining.

2. By not even trying, I can’t fail, but neither can I succeed. I want to succeed more than I want to fail, I hate failure. So at the very least, TRY to do exercise, even a half an hour a day is better than nothing at all.

3. Mick loves me and wants the best for me. He has never laughed at me, and he won’t do that knowing how important this is. And if he does – so what – I can just put laxatives in his dinner and laugh at him running to the toilet all night (okay maybe I wouldn’t do that). Remember that Mick has been there through the really bad times, never cracking jokes – it’s not his style.

4. Yes you are lazy and it is time that you changed this habit. Think of all the things you miss out on and because you can’t be arsed getting off the couch. Do you really want to look back in 20 years and regret the life you have lived – or rather – half lived? Just think with the exercise you will have more energy and won’t be so lazy.

5. You don’t have energy because you aren’t currently exercising and are carrying around an extra 40 kilos (you can’t even lift 40 kilos for godsake). Imagine how much more energy you will have with regular exercise. Now get out there and go go go.

6. ? I don’t know how to get over the fear of breaking my bones again.

7. What do you mean you don’t want to? Do you want to be fat and unfit forever? Decide what it is you really want (and you know what that is) and get up off your butt and do some exercise.

8. Okay, so you’ve made it through the day, and you haven’t exercised. You’ve gone back on your ways, and used one of your many (so many I never knew I had that many) excuses. If the day isn’t over, then stop thinking of ways to NOT exercise, and put that time to good use and do some exercise. If you’ve managed to avoid your exercise to the point of bed time, then you get your arse up a half hour earlier tomorrow and GO GO GO. This goes for your food intake too. If you’ve stuffed up, then you start straight away again and don’t continue on in your bad ways for the rest of the day.

External excuses I can do something about
1. It’s raining outside/too cold outside/the weather in general outside sucks
2. I’m too tired
3. My leg, ankle, knee *insert body part here* hurts
4. Nicole isn’t exercising tonight, so I have no one to exercise with
5. I have to cook dinner for Mick

1. Okay, so the weather outside sucks? I bet inside it’s wonderful. So I can turn on that dvd player and exercise my heart out. Or I can put on the WII and exercise on that to my hearts content. Make a use of all those dvds and games that you have spent good money on.

2. Go to bed earlier instead of staying up late watching t.v. You know you will only complain the next day anyway when you stay up late, so go to bed early, get a good night’s rest and get out there tomorrow and go go go.

3. Barring another broken bone there is nothing to stop me from exercising. If I have injured myself, then I need to adjust my exercise to accommodate my injury. But just because my knees because I’m exercising is not a reason to stop – it’s a reason to go on. Because losing my excess weight will only help it.

4. Just because Nic can’t make it, doesn’t mean you can’t exercise by yourself. You don’t need Nic to hold your hand for exercise, you can do it all by yourself. Remember that your situation and Nic’s are different, you don’t have two small babies to run around after, you only have yourself to run around after. So RUN.

5. Mick can cook too! It won’t hurt him to cook every now and then so you can exercise. He might actually enjoy being let into the kitchen. If he doesn’t want to cook, then cook extra on the weekend and freeze it, for quick meals to prepare – AFTER YOU FINISH EXERCISING.

External excuses out of my control
1. I have to work late
2. I’m sick

1. If you have to work late, then make sure you have an early night so that you can get up a bit earlier the next day and do exercise. Most importantly of all, don’t use this as an excuse that doesn’t have a solution.

2. Okay if you’re sick, you genuinely can’t overdo it without making yourself sicker. So look after yourself, make sure you take your vitamins and eat good healthy food until you are well again. And then get back into it.

The pain of being fat

You know one of the realisations I have come to in regards to being overweight? It’s not so much that your joints hurt a lot, or that it hurts to breathe when you are exercising, because let’s face it, you are the most unfit person in the world – no it’s not any of that. It’s the pain of sitting at work in your chair, and making a tiny move on said chair, and the whole bloody thing squeaks to high heaven. And the lovely skinny girl that sits next to you (who I’m sure can eat a whole block of chocolate without putting on an ounce) could probably jump up on her chair and do a belly dance (if she had a belly that is) and the chair wouldn’t make a sound. Yes my friends, THAT is pain. The emotional pain of being overweight, I’m sure for me, outweighs the actual physical pain that accompanies holding those extra kilos close to my heart.

I long to be that skinny girl. The girl who can jump up on the chair and do a belly dance, who can get through a whole day at work, without being so damn tired she looks like she is about to collapse, the girl who can wear the nice pants and shirt and look the part. So why do I sabotage myself all the time, and how do I stop myself? Hmm questions to ponder.


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