The new man and the controversy

So I have been debating whether or not to put anything up online about the new guy because I’m not sure exactly who reads this blog, or rather who knows that I own this blog. But I have decided that this is my blog. I can write what I want/need to write on here, and I should be able to do so without fear of offending anyone in my life. So if I do, then I’m sorry, but read the disclaimer at the top….. So in advance, sorry.

So I have a new man in my life. Whether he is in it for long, well I don’t know. Could be here for a week, month, year, longer or even shorter. I don’t know, and I’m just going to take it as it comes. A couple weeks ago I went down the pub for my stepfathers birthday dinner and saw someone in line at the Bistro that I knew, and he was with his brother, who I had never met before, but knew of. So the night was spent down there drinking and playing pool with those two and Miss Crazy. At the end of the night, I got Mr Squooshy’s phone number. Got to admit, I’d been trying to think how I was going to get it, but didn’t have to try, cos he gave it to me. All was good. And that’s pretty much all the details that are needed on that part of the story now. I will eventually come back to this story when I feel a bit more comfortable with where things are at.

But here comes the kicker. Mr Squooshy is the ex of one of Miss Mum’s friends. A woman that I know also, that I am friendly with. And this has made Miss Mum not so very accepting of the whole Mr Squooshy thing and I. And it hurts so much. Fair enough, I realise that Miss Mum doesn’t want to get caught in the middle of Mr Squooshy’s ex and I. I do get that, and I don’t want you to take sides Miss Mum, but at the same, I’m actually happy for the first time in so so long, and I desperately want you to feel that same happiness for me. Yes, it was probably a bad choice for me to go to, but I didn’t consciously set out to wind up with him. I didn’t plan it, I didn’t think it was going to happen. Yes I was attracted to him, even knowing who he was, but it wasn’t ever going to go past attraction. And while on the one part I’m sorry it has gone past the attraction, on another, I’m so very NOT sorry.

I know you don’t want to know, but he makes me laugh. He calls me, texts me, comes around just to sit with me and mooch when he know’s he’s not going to get any more than conversation out of me. He makes an effort to meet my friends and talk to them. Basically he does everything that I ever wanted to be done for me. He just treats me nicely. And at the moment, he’s making me really happy. And now I’m going to take the selfish road, and say I don’t care about HER or anyone else’s feelings on the subject. I think it’s my turn to be happy for once. I think I’ve put up with enough shit over the last year (yes, my fault, I went back for it) that it’s my turn to take whatever happiness I can. Asking me how I would feel if the roles were reversed is not fair. Different circumstances completely. Please remember after all this – she left him, not the other way around. I’m done apologising, I’m done feeling guilty. I’m now looking out for me and me only! And Mr Squooshy. (And everyone – please don’t ask about the name, but if you have to, it’s in a round about reference to Finding Nemo, and Dory finding Mr Squishy.)

1 Comment

  • D

    September 9, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Good on you Tina! About time you found someone who actually makes you feel good all the time. Don’t worry what others think; just sit back and enjoy the ride.

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