I need to be more positive

So today I went out to get my heart rate monitor (Hello Polar F7, I love you lots already xoxo), and when I was walking out of the office to go and grab it, along with my new set of scales, the girl I share an office with asked where I was going. So I did this stupid little embarrassed shaky half laugh and said “Oh I’m just trying to do a little more exercise, you know, probably won’t do much good, but I’ll give it a go”.

What was I thinking? I am not just doing a little more exercise. I am eating healthy, I am going to be doing a shitload of exercise and I am setting myself up with new eating and exercising programs to follow for the rest of my life to be a healthier, happier version of me. So why did I do that stupid (and really annoying sounding) laugh? Why didn’t I tell her that I was in the process of changing my life around for the better. To get myself healthy, for myself and for my future children and to give them a mother to be proud of.

I’m sure that this doesn’t follow any of Michelle Bridges rules. It is allowing me to set myself up for failure, by telling people I work with that it’s just “a little exercise”, it’s allowing me to fail. So right here, and right now, I am pledging to go in next week and tell everyone that I have signed up, and am going to change my life for the better.

Oh dear, this just doesn’t sound like me. Everyone who knows me, and those that followed my previous blog here, will all remember how pessimistic and unpositive I was. This program is definitely changing my whole head space around, and for so much the better. For the first time, in such a long time, I am really quite happy, and it’s not relying on any form of medication whatsoever. I think my doctor would be proud of me. And I know that everyone at work will be proud of me also when I tell them all about the 12WBT challenge next week.


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1 Comment

  • Marshmallow

    June 20, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    I know I personally find it difficult to shake the habit of talking myself down and being too hard on myself – and saying to other people ‘it probably won’t make any difference’ so that they don’t develop any expectation of me, and therefore, I won’t be letting anyone down when I fail.

    The fact that you’ve looked back and gone “What the hell was I thinking?” is already a sign that you’ve grown into the program and recognised that you were executing a behaviour which is discouraged.

    I think your doctor will be proud of you, everyone at work will be proud of you, and we, your readers, are already very proud of you 🙂

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