I was over at crankybee’s site today and reading her post about watching what the people with the bodies we would like eat.Â And I feel a little guilty now because I ended up leaving a bit of a rant on her site, not directed towards crankybee, but rather more directed at a ‘friend’ of mine.Â Or rather a couple of friends of mine.
I go to the same pub a lot.Â I’m friendly with a lot of people there, in particular I’m friendly with a lot of the people who work behind the bar, and we often all go out together at night when everyone has finished work.Â Mostly I go out with Miss Crazy,Mr English (yum),Â Mr Gay, Mr Stretch, Miss Slapper etc.Â And surprisingly they are the ones who have been the best.Â If I say I don’t want to drink because I’m trying to watch what I’m eating and drinking, then they leave it at that.Â They don’t push me.Â This had me flummoxed when it first happened because if there is a big drinker in Adelaide, then it’s Miss Crazy, and she’s always up for a party.Â But she has been fantastic, and is always asking how it’s going and doesn’t push me if I don’t want to drink.
Miss Vapid on the other hand is really starting to annoy the (pardon my language here) fuckers out of me.Â I’m getting to the point where I start seething whenever I see her or hear her whiney voice.Â We have never been really close, though at one time we were pretty friendly.Â But then she went and slept with Mr Dickhead and started flirting with Mr BathtubHead when I was seeing him and things have just gone a little downhill ever since, however I am still nice to her (mostly to her face), because we have so many friends in common I just don’t want to stir the pot.
When I first started doing the whole gym thing, and then the eating right thing, I kind of expected her to support me.Â But seriously I must have been dreaming when I thought that.Â Because if there is one person out there who seems to be on a mission to destroy my efforts – it’s got to be Miss Vapid.Â Every time I say I don’t want a drink, or another drink, she tries to talk me into it.Â If I tell her I’m going home to have an early night because I want to get up early to go to the gym, she makes smart arsed comments in front of everyone.Â Seriously I don’t know if she is trying to embarrass me or something, but when you have been fat as long as I have it takes a little more than her to embarrass me….
I really don’t understand why she does it either.Â Miss Vapid thinks we are wonderful friends.Â She tells me things that she won’t tell other people, and we email each other at work a lot, so why would you do these things to a friend?Â It’s not like I’m really any competition for her.Â Miss Vapid is just shy of 5’7″ (a tiny bit shorter than me) and she is rake thin.Â I don’t personally find her figure appealing, because she really is all skin and bones and in a bikini she does NOT look attractive.Â But aside from that, men seem to find her reasonably appealing.Â So why does she do it?Â I realise I keep asking the same question but it’s been bugging me for a while now.
So my question to everyone out there is, do you have ‘friends’ in your life who try to destroy the good you are doing to yourself?Â How have you handled it?Â Have you ever hit someone for this behaviour?Â Because it’s getting to the point where I really just want to put my boxing classes to good use.
MarshmallowNovember 2, 2006 at 5:45 am
I haven’t really had anyone who has tried to destroy the good I’ve done – they’ve just made it harder for me by carrying on doing what they do. Most of my friends are rake thing pasty geek guys who can devour a horse without putting on any weight. Meanwhile, I look at a muffin and I put on 2kg. Not fair! The guys are great and don’t make fun of me when they see me eating healthy stuff, but they just carry on eating their crap in front of me, so its a test of my strength to not do the same. Its unreasonable for me to expect them to change their habits to make my changes easier to handle.
No experience quite like what you have had! LilyT wrote a comment on a post I wrote about lack of support during weight loss perhaps has some similarities? You might find it useful.
Miss mumNovember 2, 2006 at 10:15 am
I like the advice of Lily T DUMP HER ARSE!!! SHE EVIL. 🙂
I dont have any destructive friends. Cause they get told very quickly. However I do have a weakness friend. This friend and I are both trying to lose weight. Sometimes we stray of our path. 9 times out of 10 it’s my fault. This makes me feel bad. Cause I know that she is stuggling in other area’s of her weight loss to because of destructive friends. Also I kick this friends arse quite abit because she’s being weak. But I have come to realise that it isn’t fair that I punish her for doing bad stuff when I’m not around and then I allow her to stray from the path when we are together. I would like to say however that we only ever stray from the path maybe once a fortnight. Not every bloody day.. I’m going to try and be more supportive thou evenn more so than I have and try and not allow us to stray from the path..
TinaNovember 2, 2006 at 10:20 am
Honey you are the most supportive person in my life at this moment and I couldn’t have done what I have without your support. Even if we do stray sometimes, it’s okay cos we stray together lol. Just keep kicking my arse xoxoxo
HayleyNovember 13, 2006 at 5:09 pm
I agree, you’ve got to just remove these people from your life. Life is too short to waste YOUR HAPPINESS on someone else’s shite!
I have done this to someone, and we also worked together – I wouldn’t recommend THAT situation, I tell you.
Seriously, though, don’t just cut her off, tell her why you can’t spend time with her anymore. Tell her that her unsupportive ‘friendship’ is not doing you any good and you need to be around true friends who want to applaude your efforts – and if she doesn’t like it…THEN hit her! LOL
Hope it gets better soon, xxx’s and oooo’s