Everything is coming undone

Do you ever get that feeling that everything you are working for and towards is just slowly unravelling in front of your face?  That things are starting to spiral out of control and you just can’t stop it?

I want the world to stop right now.  I want to get off, it’s not fun and I don’t want to play anymore.  I gained 400gm last night.  It looks like I’m going to have to get rid of my dog, my precious dog, who is like a baby to me.  I am fighting with Miss Vapid (that in itself not so bad) but I’m actually thinking of ways that I can hurt her mentally.  Not something I’m proud of, but still thinking of it.  Miss Moody has started bingeing and purging and taking laxatives and I’m supposed to be going around to her place tomorrow night to see her and find out if she still is and then dob on her to Miss Perky again, to try and help her, and to top it off I have been smoking again – a fact that not even Miss Mum knew and I just can’t FUCKING COPE ANYMORE.


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2 Comments

  • Marshmallow

    November 7, 2006 at 8:50 pm

    Awww Tina, you’ve been loaded with far too much stuff – getting through all of that is issue enough, and then gaining weight on top of it just makes things all that more frustrating.

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dog – I haven’t ever owned a pet, but I’ve been close enough to other friend’s pets to have been devastated when they’ve gone.

    Obviously there’s no way that I can make the problems with Miss Vapid and Miss Moody disappear, but here’s a hug in the hope that you’ll see that you ARE worth the struggle!

    *BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG HUGZ*

    I’ll be back to see how you’re doing, all right? This will pass.

  • Miss mum

    November 7, 2006 at 10:42 pm

    Honey it’s ok I expected it. With everything going on at the moment it was always going to happen. I was thinking tonight that maybe it’s time to sit back and remember what it was that made you want to change your life in the first place. You were doing so well when you were focused on you and not everyone else’s crap. I think that if you turn everyone off and listen to what you want then you will get back on track. Certain places and people are bring you down. You need to work out what it is you truely want.. I know that you/we can do this, it’s just a matter of cutting everything that brings you down out.. But only you/myself can do that. The question at the end of the day is DO YOU REALLY WANT IT??? I know that I do.. I want it for me but more than that I want it for you.. I want to see you in that size 14 dress. Because I can imagine the look you will have on your face when you put it on.IT WILL BE PRICELESS!!!!
    Lets do this.
    LOVE BEL XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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