I had grand plans last weekend to do sewing and reading so that I can make some headway into my 2011 To Do list. Well……. Needless to say by the tone of this post that it didn’t really happen.
I woke up nice and early on Saturday (6.45am – ugh – why does Mick have to work on a Saturday, it totally interrupts my sleep… And it really sucks not having him home too – honest) and had a coffee and then decided it was time to get cracking on the cleaning so that I could get down to the business of sewing my Rain or Shine quilt.
One coffee led to another coffee, which led to breakfast, which led to another coffee, which led to me having to go out and start making the desert for a family dinner that night, which led me to being quite blah by lunchtime. So I sat down to eat my lunch in front of the television, and with nothing worth watching on, I delved into Bigpond movies to see what was on offer.
That’s where I should have stopped myself. But I didn’t. I ordered Sex in the City 2. Within the first 5 minutes I was sitting on the couch crying. It’s at this point that I can hear you all saying – “What? Crying? At Sex in the City 2? We knew it wasn’t the best movie, but it wasn’t that bad either surely?” But it’s true. I cried.
The tears started coming when I heard there was a wedding. Then more tears came when the wedding happened and they were saying their vows and when all the friends got together. I paused it at that point and bawled. Why you ask?
It made me realise, that I will in all likelihood never get to have a wedding like that. Not the whole ostentatiousness of it, I can live without having swans at my wedding, but I would like a proper wedding, with family and friends surrounding me. But I will never get it. My family is in such a state of disarray that I would never be able to pull them all together for one day, let alone have them actually have to all sit in a room together for a few hours. If I invite one person, the other won’t come, but if that person comes, then this person won’t come. That’s what I would have to face. So my dream wedding just won’t happen, because I am not sure I could cope with having a wedding, inviting them and having my family not turn up because other family members were going to be there. So my big fluffy wedding (which okay, isn’t about to happen anytime soon because Mr Mick still has to propose, and he’s taking his sweet time on that…) will probably end up being an elopement somewhere, without my family and friends surrounding me and I’m not sure that I like that idea either.
So all those things went running through my head and I just bawled. Then felt extremely stupid for having cried over it, when it’s not even an issue and may never be. Then I continued watching the movie and wanted to cry for a whole different reason – the fact that I had wasted $5.99 on it – I was totally disappointed with the movie honestly. The highlight for me was watching Liza Minelli do Beyonces Single Ladies. Really the best part. The rest? In my opinion – crap.
Oh, and the sewing and reading? Didn’t happen.