I have always had problems with my body image.Â But it has always been a simple problem.Â I hated my body.Â And I was a largely ignored person, who could quite happily go about life and not think too much of it.Â Which I didn’t.Â I just hated my body and did nothing about it.
But since I have started going to the gym, and losing weight, and losing CM’s my opinion of my body has started changing.Â And now there are one or two things about my body that I like.Â Not a lot, and I will probably always be a person who doesn’t like everything about my body, but liking a thing or two about myself is a big deal for me.
But apparently it’s not only myself that doesn’t mind one or two things about me.Â So where once before I was as I said largely ignored, lately I find that I’m not and I’m starting to get attention from men.Â And it’s not always good attention.Â Hence all my problems with men.Â Which I know I am bringing on myself.Â But I’m finding it harder and harder to cope with this. I have started getting to the point where I want to yell at these people.Â Because some of them (like Mr English) I’ve known for a long long time.Â And where before I started losing weight there was nothing there, now there is.
Is this just because I weigh less?Â Because there are less CM’s of me?Â It certainly can’t be because of my personality, because that hasn’t changed! And I think that is where my gripe is coming from.Â The person I am today – is the same person I was 6 months ago.Â And in reality I haven’t really lost that much weight.Â So why is there this sudden change?Â And why does it all make a difference?Â Where were these people 6 months ago?
I have been thinking about this.Â And I have come to the conclusion that I can’t be the only person who feels like this – to a degree.Â I have spent my whole life being overweight, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or act now that I’m doing something about NOT being overweight.Â How has everyone else handled it?Â I’m actually a little bit more uncomfortable now with the wayÂ I look, than I was before.Â I have started wishing that I could sit back in my corner and go unnoticed again. That was comfortable.Â But I want to look good for ME, so I don’t want to stop losing weight.
I think it’s time that gyms started looking at this problem.Â And magazines.Â Every magazine you read is pushing some form or another of diet down our throats.Â Gyms are advocating the weight loss thing.Â Not just getting fit.Â Fernwood offer the Slimplicty program, which is about losing weight.Â If they can offer this, and still charge us huge amounts in fees, then why can’t they start employing a counsellors who we can talk to about how we are feeling?Â How we are supposed to be feeling.Â How we handle people who:
A: have started paying us attention because of our differing looks.
B: have started staying away from us because of our differing looks.
I really do think that this is a service that should be offered.Â Don’t just take people’s money, and help change them, but offer the whole service.Â Help us make our minds healthy at the same time.
Okay my rant is over for the day. 🙂