Stop press. Yes you read it correctly. Tonight I have a date.
And I’m mildly excited by it. Mildly nervous about it. Mildly sad about it too. I should be bouncing around and jumping for joy but I’m really not.
So I met this guy on the internet on a dating site (Yes I’m sad, I admit it), and we’ve been chatting for only a week, but we kinda hit it off. So we were talking the other night about meeting and it just happened so suddenly, so tonight we have date. And I should be much more excited than I am, but I keep thinking, it’s wrong, because it’s not Mr. Driller, which makes me realise deep down, that I’m probably not ready to start thinking about other men, let alone going out with any other men. But does this stop me? Course not – never let it be said that I listen to good sense.
Another thing that’s making me sad is that I can’t share this news with Miss Moody. Cos she hates Mr. Driller and knowing that I’m going out tonight with someone else would have made her happy. Not only because it’s not Mr Driller, but because it would signify that I’m starting to get back on with my life. But I can’t share it with her, and there is just a big gaping hole where she used to be. And I miss her. Not ashamed to say that I miss her a lot. And she doesn’t know (or apparently care). So this just brings down the whole mood of the “date” (god what a word – date lol).
Tomorrow I’m going back to see Dr. Shrinky, so at least I will have something to talk about with him this time, the good, the bad and the horribly ugly.