12WBT day eleven – Such a busy day

Well once again my lack of organisation has come back to bite me in the bum. I was so tired last night, needing to catch up on sleep and there was a serious lack of motivation on my part, so I didn’t get my lunch organised for today. I need to start realising that if I don’t get my lunch organised it’s going to make my lunchtime more stressful than it needs to be. I didn’t get my lunch ready at home, so I knew I’d have to go out and buy my lunch. So there went my lunchtime walk at the same time. I went to the cafeteria at work, and there was a serious lack of low calorie food, but I did manage to find some vegetarian vermicelli, which I think was an okay choice, considering the lack of choices.

So did I manage to fix things up at dinner time? No. Had to go to the shops straight after work, rush home, get dinner organised and then head straight out to the airport to get Mick’s daughter. So I got a cooked chicken from Woolies, a pre-made salad mix in a bag and a bag of wedges for Mick. But, and here comes the clunker, I caved and had some wedges. Oh. My. God. They were so good and tasty and yummy. I hadn’t realised until I put the first wedge into my mouth how much I had missed potatoes. So not the healthiest choice, but I’m going to use today as my treat meal day. So long as tomorrow I make better choices and get myself organised for the rest of the week.

On a more personal note, I found the most gorgeous pair of high black boots today, that I can actually wear, that do up and fit my fat lets. Black boots from City Chic, were $300 and I snapped them up for only $100. Am very proud of myself. So now for the daily intakes;

FoodCalories in
B2 slices Soy and Linseed bread with 1T Philly Garlic & Herb spread245
S1 Strawberry Forme satisfy yoghurt & SPC pears in lime jelly174
LVegetarian vermicelli300
S125g strawberries & 1 Weight Watchers Cherry Bakewell151
DRoast chicken, salad and wedges450

ExerciseCalories out

No exercise today0
Calories surplus/defecit-517

12WBT day four – Starting to hit me

Oh today I was hungry. So very very hungry. I’m sure that it’s not because I’m not eating, because I am, but I think rather, that it is because all I seem to be able to think obsess about is food. It is taking up all my thoughts and driving me stir crazy. I have never put this much energy into one thing before and putting all my energy into thinking about food, when I can’t eat all this food I want is starting to hurt my head. So tonight I’m just going to quickly post my stats up here, and then go and read a good book and take my mind off anything at all food related and just chillax. So, stats for the day:

FoodCalories in
BPorridge with 2t brown sugar, 1/2 cup milk & small apple284
S1 Passionfruit Forme satisfy yoghurt94
LAsian chicken soup340
SPunnet of strawberries53
DSpaghetti Bolognaise420

ExerciseCalories out

33.5 minute walk324
13 minute bike ride 120
Calories surplus/defecit-1116

12WBT – day three

Today was a day of mixed highs and lows for me. Overall I’m very very disappointed with myself. I’m proud of my weight loss and proud of the fact that I did the walk to our meeting with a lot more ease than I did last time. But I’m really disappointed with myself for having even half the muffin – I should have stuck to my guns and eaten my mandarine. I’m also really disappointed by the fact that I only did a half hearted workout tonight. I didn’t go for my walk at lunch, I sat down and did some reading, which, while it was lovely to do, meant that I missed out on 30 minutes of exercise. Then by the time I got home tonight, I really just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. I know this is my own fault for staying up late watching the Grey’s Anatomy finale (but OMG how good was it), but because I was so tired, I just didn’t put the same effort into exercise that I know I should have. This just disappoints me. I think though that I am learning, and I’m also being a lot more honest than I normally would have been. I would have previously, just said that I did my workout and left it at that. At least now I am being more accountable, to myself and to anyone who reads this blog, which I think is an important step for me to move forward in my weight loss. So here we are with todays (dismal) stats:

FoodCalories in
BPorridge with 2t brown sugar, 1/2 cup milk & small pear291
S1 SPC Pears in lime jelly89
LPumpkin soup227
S1/2 blueberry muffin, 1 cup green tea, 1t sugar165
DAsian chicken soup340


ExerciseCalories out
27 minutes of Biggest Loser DVD225
Calories surplus/defecit-976

12WBT day one

WOW, what can I say about today except for WOW. I went to bed last night with the intention of getting up at 5.30am to get some extra exercise in today. Well, as I half expected, the warmth of my bed kept me there, tucked in nice and tight and I didn’t get up until 6am when the alarm went off. I made sure that I was all prepared for my breakfast last night though, so all I had to do was add my water to the oats and put it in the microwave and then watch the news while eating my lurvely porridge.

So to make up for my lack of 5.30am exercise, I went for a great power walk at lunch time, through the botanical gardens (I’m that lucky that I work right next door to the gardens) and burned up a nice 300cals. Completely stuffed me for the rest of the day though, but I still did the Jillian Michaels Kickboxing DVD with Nic when I got home.

Dinner was lamb cutlets with mushy peas, ricotta and mint and that was surprisingly nice.

Overall, this was a great first day. I’m not hungry – even though I am constantly thinking about food, and just feel invigorated overall. And really looking forward to tomorrow. Bring it on.

So below are my stats for today, and also my starting weight and measurement stats, which I will update weekly.

FoodCalories in
BPorridge with dates and 2t brown sugar316
S1 small pear &
100g celery
L2 cups pumpkin soup227
S1 Forme Strawberry yoghurt & 140g carrot130
DLamb cutlets with mushy peas297


ExerciseCalories out
33 minute power walk at lunchtime (Average heart rate 140)306
Jillian Michaels Kickboxing DVD (26mins)250
Calories surplus/defecit-1380


Weight Chest Waist Hips Thighs Arms
Start 110.5 108cm 122cm 137cm 72cm 45.5cm
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9
Week 10
Week 11
Week 12

So a new week is about to begin

Oh the excitement I am feeling right now is quite indescribable. I got my nutrition and workout plans for the official kick-off of the 12 Week Body Transformation program this afternoon. Lots of exciting meals, that have been all worked out for me, all I have to do is cook them. Again, can I say – EXCITED! My 1200 calories a day are now sorted.

I suppose I should be a bit more excited about the exercise plan, but lets face it – my life revolves around food. I spend pretty much most of my day thinking about it, and the other part of my day eating it. So there really isn’t much room left for me to get excited even thinking about exercise let alone doing it. However, as a new fitness guru in the making (ahem, yes that would be me), I am determined to start enjoying my exercise and not putting it off with dumb and weak excuses.

So excuse me, but I must now go and read over my menu again for the coming week (and perhaps do a few modifications for breakfast – baked beans on a Monday morning isn’t really my thing).

Oh and just a quick P.S. – My black work pants are now a little loose on me. I have only lost about 4kg so far, but already they are looser. God it’s a nice feeling.

Holiday habits I need to kick

Last weekend was a long weekend for us in Adelaide, and for us that means we tend to go away. In fact over long weekends we tend to take the 6 1/2 hour drive and head over to Port Lincoln. It is the most beautiful spot in Australia, and I would move there in a second. But I digress. When we go to Port Lincoln, we stay with some friends of Micks, and often it involves a fair bit of eating, and even more drinking, of which I am always happy to partake.

So this long weekend was no different. We packed up the car early on Saturday, headed over to Nic’s place and I did weigh in (YAY me, I lost 1/2kg – could have been more, but I did no, [absolutely none] exercise over the week, so I’m taking my 500gm and running) and then we were off.

First mistake? I broke the cardinal rule – I didn’t have breakfast before we left. So when Mick suggested we get McDonalds for breakfast, did I complain? Well no, because by that time I was starving and would have eaten a horse if he’d put it in front of me. So I’m sitting there in the car, munching on my Bacon and Egg McMuffin and hash brown (and god was it good), drinking down my Iced Coffee and thinking to myself. Okay bad start – but I can come back from this. Did I? No.

Lunch time was a Whopper from Hungry Jacks. Dinner (we had reached our destination by then) was a super delicious full fat Spaghetti Bolognaise. And let me just say that topping the night off with one and a bit bottles of red wine, certainly didn’t help. In my defence, I did stop at 2 glasses and then somehow the glass kept getting refilled and certainly not by me. I put all this down to being in Lincoln, it was the first night and tomorrow and the rest of the weekend would be better.

It didn’t. What followed was a super high calorie weekend. No more alcohol, good thing, but, such bad food. And even knowing how bad all of the bacon and eggs and chips and roast pork were for me, I just couldn’t seem to stop the food going from my fingers to my mouth. I dread getting back on the scales now, because I have this horrible fear that I have undone all the good that I have done over the past few weeks.

So the lesson I have learned is:

  • Prepare some healthy snacks the night before we go on a road trip – celery sticks, carrot sticks, a few nuts etc – so that I’m not tempted to reach for the lollies.
  • Make sure that I eat breakfast before we go on our road trip next time. Don’t be conned into going down the McDonalds route.
  • Eat a healthy lunch. There are always other options other than Hungry Jacks. (Which by the way, I have made a personal pact with Mick, that I won’t touch any junk food, especially Hungry Jacks for the next 6 months).
  • When we get to our destination, do a bit of a food shop to help out with us staying, and buy healthy food and fruit and veggies. Explain to our hosts that I am eating healthy and changing my lifestyle to be healthier.
  • Limit my portions when dinner is served up. Eat more of the vegetables, and less of the meat and bad stuff.

So overall, this was not a good weekend, but on the plus side, I have learned some very valuable lessons that I can put into practice next time we go away – in July *sigh*

My epiphany

I woke up this morning, all bleary eyed from having another late night last night and went into the kitchen, with all the good intentions of making myself a good wholesome bowl of porridge for breakfast. I opened the cupboard, looked at the oats and thought – “Nope, this is just way too hard for me this morning”, so I went instead for the option of toast, with low fat cheese – a particular favourite. Okay, so the alternative wasn’t as bad as it could have been (think lashings of peanut butter on toast with masses of margarine as well), but it still wasn’t really the right choice. I didn’t take the time to accurately measure out my margarine spread (which I’m happy to say is a low fat, olive oil type spread thing – still tastes like margarine to me though lol), and didn’t take time to actually sit down and count out exactly how much calories I had consumed in the one sitting, or rather how much I was about to shove into my mouth at the start of the day. So I did that at lunch – and my breakfast came in at a whopping 410 calories (with my guestimated calorie count for the margarine spread). Compare this to my wholesome porridge with a banana for breakfast yesterday which came in at only 265 calories, and this little light bulb went off in my head:

  • I need to go to bed at a decent hour, and get some proper rest; and
  • I need to be more organised.

Without these two things, I am already setting myself up for failure. Because I know, that if I go to bed late tonight, then when I get up tomorrow morning, I’m going to go for the easy toast option again. I also know, that as much as I will be thinking I should, I won’t actually measure out my margarine, and because I ate the last of the cheese this morning, I will probably end up going down the peanut butter route. Even though I know I shouldn’t. Because I’m tired and it’s easy – it will happen. I know myself that well now.

I also really need to start getting my lunches prepared at night time. I did okay yesterday (which was the first day that I have followed a set eating plan). I had myself down for a tuna salad for lunch. Great, tuna in a can is easy to prepare. The salad, well, I thought to myself on Sunday night, “no time for this, I’ll do it in the morning”. Did I? Well no, it was a lot like breakfast this morning. No time, no energy and no real kick in the butt from myself to pull all the veggies out and start cutting. So it comes to lunch and I’m thinking, hmmm what am I going to eat with my tuna. I know, I’ll have some 2 minute noodles. Wrong choice! I’m glad I stopped and took the time to check the calories on one of those – Oh My God. I can’t believe I have been eating them. So I did the right thing, took myself off for a walk to town at lunch time to try and find someone who actually just sold salad. Straight past the Chinese Noodle place, straight past KFC, straight past McDonalds – and god did they all smell divine. I finally found a little Yiros shop, that just sold tubs of salad, so I took my salad box, marched straight back into the office, mixed my tuna in and felt well proud of myself. I had gotten exercise at lunch, and I had managed not to succumb to the pleasures (instant pleasures) of KFC or Maccas. But I really shouldn’t be that proud of myself. I should have not been so lazy on Sunday night and actually prepared my salad in advance – which I did last night.

So I suppose the moral of this post is – Tina, stop being lazy. Go to bed at a decent hour at night, get some proper rest, because those black bags under your eyes are trying to tell you something. And for godssakes try and be more organised. When you go home tonight and start cutting up your veggies for dinner, cut some extras, pop them in a bowl and bring them with you to work tomorrow. If it makes it easier for you in the morning, measure out your oats, milk and water, so that all you have to do in the morning is pop it into the microwave – I’m sure peeling a banana is something even you can do first thing without taxing yourself too much!

But for now, I think I need to go and add a couple more goals to my list of goals – More sleep, more organisation.

This is who I am

As I said in my first post I have always been fat. I could say I have always been overweight, but the truth is, I have always been fat. I find fat such an ugly word, but it’s the truth of the matter. As far back as I can remember I have always had issues with my weight. I come from a Scandinavian family and have grown up eating lots of potatoes, lots of pork and beef and lots and lots of gravy. Oh let me not forget the fresh bread rolls on weekends, and the lashings of Danish butter that was put onto those rolls. Oh yes, breakfast, lunch and dinner at our house were always a treat.

Now all that food wouldn’t have been quite so bad as it was, had I exercised. But I didn’t. I come from a pretty religious family (I’m not really religious anymore, being forced to go to church as a child put me off for life) – to the point where competition sports were banned or at the very least heavily frowned upon. So there was little to no exercise happening for me to burn off all those calories. Now I realise that this all sounds like a lot of excuses, but if it’s in the past does it still count as excuses? Or has it now become a reality?

So as I got older I gradually let the weight creep on. It was always in the back of my mind, every time I had to buy a new pair of pants, because the last pair I bought didn’t fit anymore. But always it was the same thing, I’ll start a diet on Monday. So I did. Always started a half arsed diet on Monday, which was more like a starvation diet. So by Monday afternoon I’d have completely given in to the lure of food again and be pigging out on chips and crap. And the attitude I was taking was “well I’ve stuffed up this week, I’ll start again next week”, and the next week was exactly the same as the one before it. At no point did I actually stop and consider what I was doing to myself, or that maybe I should get a little more active and do some exercise. Nope, it was magically going to fall off me, this extra weight.

About 3 years ago now, I finally decided to turn a new leaf and do it properly. So I joined a gym for the first time in my life, which was quite possibly the scariest moment of my life. I joined a Fernwood, I wasn’t ready to face a gym with a lot of men watching the fat bounce around while I exercised. I got myself a personal trainer and joined their eating program. I had real success and lost nearly 10kg. I was so proud of myself, the hard work was worth it. You’d think that would have kept me motivated, and that I would have kept going and lost more. But no, I slowly started drifting back into my old ways – partying, partying and a little more partying. What I didn’t know at the time, but possibly should have realised, was that I wasn’t dealing with some pretty big issues in my life. Issues that go back to childhood. I needed to fix my head, before I could fix the rest of me.

Then came 18 months ago. Leaving home in the morning I tripped over some loose concrete and broke my wrist. Pretty badly smashed it up, plates and pins holding it together. Here came more bad eating, and absolutely no exercise, and a lot of weight gain. I have the greatest partner in the world, who stood by me through all of this, never once mentioning the fact that I was getting unhealthier and unhealthier. Breaking my wrist really is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but in some ways, it was also the best. It brought me to the lowest point I have ever been in my life, to the point where I had to get professional help. But I did, and it’s helped. Very slowly. I still have issues with my wrist – it doesn’t move properly anymore, and I have very little strength in it, but I now realise that there are other things I can do to exercise that doesn’t include using my wrist. My main thing to get over now is the fear that I have, deep down, that I’m going to do something to break it again. (Apparently I might still need a little more professional help).

So now I have joined Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation program. Already I am noticing differences in my attitude. Yes I have a long way to go, and yes I know that this isn’t going to be an easy time, and I’m going to have to work hard – really hard – but I’m here for the long haul. And I’m going to share every single painful moment with you all.

The pain of being fat

You know one of the realisations I have come to in regards to being overweight? It’s not so much that your joints hurt a lot, or that it hurts to breathe when you are exercising, because let’s face it, you are the most unfit person in the world – no it’s not any of that. It’s the pain of sitting at work in your chair, and making a tiny move on said chair, and the whole bloody thing squeaks to high heaven. And the lovely skinny girl that sits next to you (who I’m sure can eat a whole block of chocolate without putting on an ounce) could probably jump up on her chair and do a belly dance (if she had a belly that is) and the chair wouldn’t make a sound. Yes my friends, THAT is pain. The emotional pain of being overweight, I’m sure for me, outweighs the actual physical pain that accompanies holding those extra kilos close to my heart.

I long to be that skinny girl. The girl who can jump up on the chair and do a belly dance, who can get through a whole day at work, without being so damn tired she looks like she is about to collapse, the girl who can wear the nice pants and shirt and look the part. So why do I sabotage myself all the time, and how do I stop myself? Hmm questions to ponder.