When you just don’t give a stuff….

Lack of motivation has been a real problem for me lately.  I have gotten into this funk again where I just don’t care about anything.  I don’t care about the gym, I don’t care about work, I just can’t be bothered doing anything.  I would be quite happy at the moment to just crawl into bed and stay there for a few weeks.  It’s becoming a struggle in the mornings to get out of bed and do something.

At first I put it down to just being on holidays too long and being bored, but that’s not it.  I don’t really know what it is.  I know that I still want to lose weight and go to the gym and get fit, but at the moment, I just want it to happen without me having to do anything about it.  If God was nice to me, he’d let me just stay in bed for these few weeks and have my weight just magically drop off.  But God is never nice to me, so therefore I get out of bed and go to work, struggle to stay awake during the day and then traipse off to the gym and pretend to care about what I’m doing.

I’ve gotten back into the habit of going to the pub in the evenings.  What I used to do all the time, especially after Mr. Dickhead went back home, just going to the pub and sitting there all night drinking and talking.  Which I did again last night, except that there wasn’t any drinking, lots of talking and I was stuck with Miss Vapid and she was driving me nuts talking about her ex (again) and then she texted him and he never responded and I just plain faced said doesn’t matter don’t bother don’t care.  Not sure that she actually realised I meant that I don’t care.  So bloody self centered she is.  But even that didn’t get me all worked up like it usually does.  I usually end up getting so goddamn pissy with her, but last night – no emotion – just couldn’t be arsed.  And that is my problem a lot lately – just can’t be arsed.  Need to get out of that!

On the plus side, even with all my drinking over the weekend, I didn’t gain weight last week.  Didn’t lose a lot (only 200gm) but hey, it’s still better than gaining it.  Only 900gm to lose till I can get my 5kg reward.  Go Tina Go Tina Go Go Go Tina………


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2 Comments

  • Miss mum

    October 17, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    Listen to me young lady…. You have worked so hard to get were you are now in your life. Not only professional but personally. You have made changes in your life that have helped you not only emotionally but physically as well…. DO NOT fall back into that big black hole that you used to call your life.. Cause if you do I know a little boy who will be very disappointed in aunty Tina.
    That’s all I have to say……………….
    Love Miss Mum

  • Hayley

    October 18, 2006 at 11:23 am

    What a magical idea to go to bed and have the big g-dawg remove all yr weight whilst you sleep…I wish!

    Congrats on yr loss, and for losing whilst under the influence, quite an accomplishment I reckon!

    go tina go tina go go go

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