Workplace exclusivity

At what point does workplace exclusivity become a form of workplace bullying?

Let me set the scene for you. I have been at my current job since April this year, so I’m still a newbie. I’m also five years older than my manager and 10 years older than two of the girls in the team. These three have some sort of secret little club thing going on I’m sure of it. Now don’t get me wrong. I have friends, enough to keep me happy and I don’t necessarily want to be friends with these girls, but the whole shutting out of people in the office is starting to drive me a little insane.

A couple of weeks ago, the two younger girls both happened to be away on the same day, so my manager was all very nice and chatty with me. Didn’t think much of it. Until last week, when the manager and one of the girls were both away, and the other girl was all very chatty with me. Now everyone is back on deck at work, and it’s become almost a game of Tina who? I share an office with (we shall call her Girl A), and every morning the other girl (from hereon referred to as Girl B) comes into our office, sits herself on one of the desks and just starts chatting away with Girl A. Occasionally I may receive a good morning.

As I said, I don’t want to be best friends with these girls, but seriously? A bit of common courtesy doesn’t go astray, does it? But want to know what gets up my nose the most? Girl B did a cross stitch quilt for the old manager (who I don’t know) and needed a backing put on it. Who did she ask? Yep – me. And who went and did it for her, staying up all hours getting it finished the next night so Girl B could give it to old manager the next day? Yep – me. Who did current manager ask to fix her dress, and put on new netting underneath it? Yep –me. Who was the dumbarse once again? Yep – me. And who was then not good enough to be invited to Girl B baby shower? Oh yeah, that would most definitely be me. And all of that, in the space of two weeks. God give me the sanity to deal with women.

At what point is it now appropriate for me to turn around and tell these people to just leave me alone completely? If you don’t want to talk to me – fine, I shan’t lose sleep over it. But stop pretending to be a “friend” – I use that term loosely – only when you need something. You’re all doing my head in.


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