Yesterday was the kickoff of Round 1, 2011 of the 12 Week Body Transformation, so it was the first day of the next 12 weeks for me, concentrating on my healthy eating and exercising. I did quite well yesterday, except for a little slip up of a chocolate cupcake, which was for my birthday (which was on Sunday, yay for squeezing the day in before official kickoff). It’s the tradition at work, when it’s someone’s birthday, there is cake. I’m kind of guessing that it’s like that for a lot of workplaces, and ours is no different. But I ate well for the rest of the day and came home and did Zumba, so I felt accomplished.
Today was different though. I haven’t really done much in the way of eating, and when I did, it was all good and healthy. Of course, I was totally stressed about a job interview that I was having. But then I got home after the interview and there was food in sight. And that food went straight into my mouth.
And now I want to cry, because I totally just sabotaged myself, and I know better than to use food as an excuse or to forget things. And I want to cry because the job interview just didn’t go well, which means that in a little over 6 weeks or so, I will have to go back to a job I hate doing, and earn about $15,000 less a year and I’m totally stressing myself out about it and all I feel right now is this overwhelming sense of despair and I don’t want to continue on with the program or anything else.
How does a person go from having such a fantastic weekend and birthday with wonderful friends to just wanting to crawl into a hole and forget herself? Here’s hoping tomorrow (and weigh day) are better.