I was reading back through some of my old posts today, trying to find something I had written (or thought I had written, turns out I hadn’t) when I came across one of my first posts about going to see Miss Perky, and the questions she had asked me.Â One of those questions being “Is there anything I would do when I reached my goal weight that I wouldn’t do now”?Â At the time I couldn’t think of anything that I wouldn’t do that I already don’t do, except for having it out with Miss Vapid.Â Well last week I had it out with her, and needless to say that one very negative influence in my life is now gone.Â Life without her is much more peaceful and I find myself a lot less angry – at her, at myself and at the world in general.Â Work issues are starting to take her place, but for now I can put that on the backburner.
So I sat down and had a little thinky.Â What would I do?Â And I have come up with a list of things that I would like to do.
- I would like to have the self confidence to approach a guy I fancy.
So that will be at the top of my list.
- Go shopping for a really nice fancy dress in a “normal sized” clothes shop.
And then go out wearing it, with the makeup all done to the nines.
- Climb Sydney Harbour Bridge.
I have this horrible overwhelming fear of heights, and to be honest I feel like I would be to fat to do something like that now.Â But my sister did it earlier this year and she hates heights, so I figure I can do it too.
- Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
My dream is to travel around Europe, in particular England, but I would so love to see Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower.Â How beautiful.
- Move to England for 6 months.
I realise that I don’t have to be thin to do that, but moving now would mean leaving Miss Mum (and lil’ munchkin), Miss Moody and particularly Miss Perky, who is the evil person who keeps me doing stuff at the gym.Â I don’t think I could leave them all right now and still keep up with the whole losing weight and GTTG lark.
- Get a new job.
One that doesn’t have my boss attached to it.Â He’s really shitting me at the moment (to put it bluntly).
I think if I sat down and thought about it a bit longer, I could probably find a few more things that I would like to do, but right now, I think this is a good list.Â And maybe if I print it out it will help keep me motivated.Â Because again, the motivation for this week is just gone.Â I start out all Gung Ho at the beginning of the week and by Wednesday or Thursday, it’s just all gone, along with my energy.Â And in its place is the desire to go to the pub and have a drink, which I am really trying to fight the urge to do.Â I may have mentioned previously (okay I did in the last post) that last weekend I managed to go out and only have 2 alcoholic drinks.Â Well this weekend I’m trying to keep it down to 1 only.Â This is going to be a struggle for me I can see it now.Â But I know that if I drink more, I will just get the whole – “Oh well I’ve fucked up for the week, may as well just drink more” attitude, but if I can control it, I know I will be able to control the food I put in my mouth a little more than I otherwise would.Â So here’s hoping…
Tomorrow I’m off with Mr Gay to get his tattoo done for his birthday next week.Â He’s getting his name written in heiroglyphics in a cartouch (sp?).Â Should look really nice.Â I’m going to have to physically restrain myself from sitting in the chair next to him and saying – “Please tattoo me next”.Â But I might just bring the design I want with me, just in case.Â Shall let you know.